


Supergirls: A Supercorp Story [Heathers AU]

by Krxptonian



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Drug Use, F/F, It’s for the plot, Minor Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Mostly everyone deserves a hug, Murder, No one is related unless specifically said so, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Underage Drinking, Useless Lesbians, Winn is a bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-05 12:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krxptonian/pseuds/Krxptonian
Summary: High school is unbearable for Kara Zorel. But what happens when the mysterious new kid Lena takes a certain liking to Kara.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is most introductions. The plot starts next chapter. I’m sorry for my writing lol. 
> 
> LBGTQ slurs, I’m sorry. It’s for the plot.

_September 1st 1989,_

_Dear Diary,_   
_I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but- here we are. First day of senior year! And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life, and I ask myself... What happened?_

I hear the bell ring, meaning it's time for first period, great!

While walking through the halls, I see the same things I saw since the fifth grade. People shoving each other into lockers, bullies. Others yelling things like _freak, slut, burnout, bug-eyed, poser, and lard ass._

_Why lard ass?_

But you just have to push past it, ignore people to the best of your abilities.

_This high school really makes me wish we were all back in the old days, or kindergarten..._

_When we were all happy and shiny. Everyone used to play tag and we'd chase each other on the playground for what felt like hours._

_We sang together, napped, baked cookies, and the occasional arts in crafts. We had to minimize the art in our class though, some kid ate paste every time we did them._

_It was great._

_But then we got older. It triggered something, kind of like the Huns invading Rome._

_You see what I did there?_

_I have History first period... I might do that a lot._

A guy bumps into me while walking to History class, making me drop my diary. My pen scratches a bit of the page, making me grunt angrily. He then gives an intimidating grunt.

"Oh, um.. Sorry." I say awkwardly, grabbing my stuff and moving away quickly.

_Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school, this is the Thunderdome._

Hold up..  
 _Woah, I'm on a roll today! I could be a poet!_

 _Well, until we graduate, I just have to count the days and hold my breath because college will be paradise. But, I'll have to be alive to actually get there_...

_And yes, I know that life can be beautiful. And I've always prayed to see something like that._

_And, we changed back then. Maybe, we could change again, and be beautiful._

_Just, not today.._

************

It's finally lunch time!

I really hope Winn and I have the same lunch period. I don't think I can stand another year alone with _them..._

They're serving pizza today, sweet!

I go in line and grab a tray, placing my diary on it.

Big mistake.

Someone comes up from behind me, and slams the lunch try on the floor. "Oooooops." I hear a voice mock behind me.

Ah yes, I can recognize that voice anywhere.

"James Olsen. 3rd year line backer and 8th year of smacking lunch trays, and being a huge dick."

"What the hell did you say about me skank?"

"Nothing!" I squeak, pushing my glasses up my face. I picked up my lunch tray, hearing him leave while laughing with someone behind me.

I open my diary, to write down recent events when someone taps my shoulder, making me jump.

"Hey Winn!" I sigh, realizing it's only him.

"Hey!"

_Winslow Schott Jr._ _other wise known as_ _Winn_ _, my best friend since.. Diapers! He has a huge heart and is a big softy. But we're both gay, and that is a scary thing to be here at Midvale._

"We still on for movie night? I bought new My Little Pony pajamas, with Pinkie Pie on them! They're really adorable!" He squeals.

"My place, right? Oh, and you're on Jiffy Pop detail."

"Yes, it's at your place, I do not want to run into my crazy mother, and I rented the Princess Bride!" He says, as we grab our pizza's.

"Again? Don't you have that memorized by now?"

"Well, what can I say. It brings me to my happy place, I'm a sucker for a happy ending every now and then."

I roll my eyes laughing, while grabbing some juice.

"GUYS LOOK ITS WINSLOW SHITHEAD THE FAG!"

Someone behind us screams while slamming into his lunch tray, making Winn drop his food.

_Clark Kent. He's the quarterback. And the smartest guy on the football team._

_Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf._

Clark high-fives James while laughing.  
"Hey! Pick that up, right now!" I yell at Clark, giving my scariest look. He starts to chuckle. "Are you actually talking to me?" He says, while James laughs in the background.

I gulp. "You know what, yes I am!" I say, feeling a boost of confidence. "I seriously want to know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You're a high school has been waiting to happen. A, uh, um, a future gas station attendant!" I say while stuttering, noticing a crowd gathering around us.

He just stares at me with a blank expression, while hearing a few giggles from the crowd.

"You have a zit right there." He smirks, pointing to the center of my nose.

Everyone bursts out into laughter, and Clark high-fives James again, as the crowd starts to disperse. Winn and I made our way back to our seats in defeat.

_Oh come on! That comeback wasn't even good! I say a well thought out statement, and I get like two giggles, but when Clark says a mild infuriating insult, the whole cafeteria is dying of laughter!_

_Dear diary,_

_whyyyy?_

_Whyyyyyyy?!?_

_WHYYYYYYYY?!?!!??_

As I'm writing this, I absent mindedly hear people complain about their life problems at other tables.

_Some girl is having guy trouble, a kid got into another fight, one person literally cries themselves to sleep. And it seems like every senior has major depression and wants attention._

_But same though._

_And that's when the cafeteria door opens._

_Every one stares, as if the people in the doorway held the answer to all of their life problems._

_And I wouldn't be surprised if they did._

_In walks, The Reign of Terrors, otherwise known as the Supergirls._

_First Alex Danvers walks in. She's the captain of the soccer team, and head cheerleader. She's straight A's honors student. Her parents are loaded too, they're both biologists or scientists, just something that has to deal with science._

_Next Maggie Sawyer walks in. She runs the year book club, and is a part of the pep rally planning committee. She doesn't really have a discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants._

_And Samantha Arias walks in._

_The Almighty._

_She is a mythic bitch..._

"The Supergirls are made of steel, they're never bothered, or harassed. Ya know, I would give anything to be like that." I shrug.

We start hearing kids whisper about them at other tables. Them talking about, wanting to sit at their table, guys noticing them.

"I want them to be nicer." Winn sighs, as I nod in agreement.

"You know, I'd like to kidnap a Supergirl and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats." A guy says to us, joining into our conversation.

We give him a weird look, and he walks away, while sighing.

**_ On Monday _ **

The bell rings, as I hear someone in the bathroom stall next to mine throw up.

"Ugh, grow up Maggie, bulimia is so '87." I hear a voice say outside the bathroom stall.

"Maybe, you should go see a doctor Maggie. You're really starting to worry me." Alex sighs.

The toilet in the stall next to me flushes. "Yeah, I know. Do any of you guys have a mint?"

Before they can look for one, a teacher walks into the bathroom.

"Ah, Samantha and Alexandra." Maggie throws up in the toilet again. "And Maggie.." Mrs. In-Ze sighs.

_Mrs. In-Ze is one of the strictest teacher's in the school. Nobody messes with her and gets away with it. Although, I'm pretty close with her, so she has a soft spot for me._

As they're talking, I go to a random page in my diary and I start to write.

"I don't know if you heard the bell over all the vomiting your friend is doing, but you're all late for class."

"Mrs. In-Ze, we were helping Maggie, she wasn't feeling too well." Sam says, while pouting.

"Oh, not without a hall pass you're not. You guys have a weeks detention, hope she's feeling _well_ , by then."

I flushed the toilet, while ripping out the piece to cover the noise then stepped out of the stall.

"Um, actually Mrs. In-Ze. I have our hall pass right here. It's for year book committee.." I say, as the girls stare at me weirdly.

Mrs. In-Ze snatches the pass, looking at the hand writing. She looks up giving the four of us a cold stare, handing me the pass.

"Very well, hurry up and get where you're going. And this won't be the last you hear from me." She states coldly, while exiting the bathroom.

Sam snatches the pass out of my hand, the three girls observing it. "This is an excellent forgery." She states.

"Who are you?" Sam asks coldly.

"Hi, I'm Kara Zorel, I like, um kinda crave a windfall." I smile awkwardly, holding out my hand.

She looks at my hand with disgust, and continues. I pulled my hand back.

"What do you want?" She sighs, while checking her nails. "Um, c-can I sit at your table.. Just once, I just want everyone to leave me and my friend alone.."

The girls start laughing.

"Um, I also do permission slips, absent notes, and report cards. I just thought I should mention that before you make your final decision.."

"What about prescriptions?"

"Shut up, Maggie." Sam says, dismissing her.

"Sorry Sam..." She sighs.

"Well, for a nobody like yourself, you do have good bone structure." She says while grabbing my chin and inspecting my face.

"And a symmetrical face. If I took a bone saw and cut down the center of your scull, I'd have matching halves! You're really lucky, not everyone is like that." Alex says, while nodding.

Maggie rolls her eyes. "Honestly, she's a little bit on the chubby side, you could stand to loose some weight.."

"Alex, get your makeup , Maggie, get your curling iron, I'm getting a change of clothes. We're going to make her look beautiful." Sam smirks.

*********  
I walk into the cafeteria late with the other Supergirls. People start whispering again when we walked in. No one knew who I was.

Well, except for Winn...

"Kara!" She says, shocked. I wink at her, as I follow the other Supergirls to their table.

"Just ignore them, you get used to the stares eventually." Alex smiles, referring to everyone around her.

I grab my diary out of my bag.

_Okay, so this school year may not be that bad. Turns out people can be beautiful, I can be beautiful!!!_   
_And let me tell you, when everything is beautiful, it's a beautiful freakin' day!_

_(Not the best ending, but I'll work on it)_

_~ Kara Zorel_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Honey whatchu waitin' for? Welcome to my Candy Store!"
> 
> I changed Mon-El to Winn, Mon-El is not innocent enough. Plus things would be awkward...

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been three weeks since I became friends with the Supergirls. Well.. friends isn't the right term exactly._

_It's more like the Supergirls are people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit._

"Hey Kara!" Winn calls, while walking towards me in the halls.

"Oh, hey Winn." I smile while clicking my pen, and closing my diary.

"You look really beautiful these days." He says awkwardly.

"Yeah, well it's still the same old me, underneath this makeup and stuff." I smile.

"Are you sure?" He asks, making me falter.

_We were supposed to have a movie night last week, weren't we?_

"Look, I'm sorry for flaking on movie night last week. I was really busy and-"

"Hey, it's okay. You're a Supergirl now, that's really exciting. I would do anything to be with that group. Well, not anything, they're actually pretty mean. But still it'd be cool." He chuckles.

"Yeah, it's whatever. But we'll hang out soon." I exclaim, while twirling my hair.

We continue to talk for a few minutes when I notice Maggie walk down the hallway behind Winn.

"So, what's your favorite part, the makeup, outfits or-"

"Kara, Sam said to hall ass to the Caf pronto, it's very important." Maggie states, interrupting our conversation.

I nod awkwardly.

_Seriously Sam, right now?_

"I'll see you later, Winn." I smile, while waving to him awkwardly. He waves back, and I follow Maggie to the cafeteria.

********

I walk in the cafeteria with Maggie to see Sam talking to Alex while Alex is giggling. We both walk up to them and Sam pauses their conversation.

"Kara, I need a forgery of James Olsen's handwriting." She states, while I start to open my diary. "You'll need something to write on. Maggie bend over." She commands, making Maggie bend forward.

I look at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell me what to write.

"Hey handsome, I miss you so much. I've been thinking about us in the old days. I want to invite you to my homecoming party on Friday. Hope to talk to you then, Love James. Add an xoxo at the end and his signature."

"What's this for anyways?" I ask, finishing the love note. "It's for Winslow Shithead." She smirks. "Oh right, I remember. Winn and James used to kiss on the football field in Kindergarten. It was so disgusting." Alex chuckles, making me give her a look.

_She's one to talk._

"We can't give this to him. He's had a crush on James for, forever! This will kill him!" I say grudgingly, while stuffing the note into my blazer pocket.

"Oh please, this will give him shower nozzle masturbation for weeks. We're is doing him a favor." Maggie chuckles, taking the note out of my pocket, and handing it to Sam.

"James! Can you come here please? I need you to do me a favor." Sam yells innocently, calling him over.

"What do you think Sam wants?" I hear James ask Clark. "I bet she wants you to like set her on your Johnson, and spin her around like a god damn pin wheel." Clark yells, laughing loudly.

"Hell yes, punch it in!" They both laugh while giving each other fist bumps. Then they make their way over to us, while tripping over to each other.

"So, like what do you need Sam?" James questions, trying to act chill.

"Be a sweety and give this note to Winslow Shithead for me." She says innocently, while handing the note to him.

"Since when do you hangout with that lard ass? What is this for anyways?" He asks, starting to open the note.

"Don't open it. Our parents are close friends and Winn wanted tickets to some gay band concert so my parents got the tickets for him." She says calmly.

The two boys gag, and I take the note back from James as they walk away, making me sigh in relief.

"I'm not going to let you do this to him." I state firmly.

"Kara, why are you pulling on my dick!" She yells, making me start to back away slowly. But I get stopped, a crowd formed around us.

"Winn is my best friend! It would kill him if he found out, he's really sensitive! Why are you being such a bitch?" I yell, hearing a few chuckles from the crowd.

"Why do you even care about him? You been ditching him ever since you've started hanging out with us. He would act the same way if he hung out with us, and you know it. You're just as bad as I am!"

I rolled my eyes, and huffed. "We're doing Winn a favor, giving him hope. You're all about hope, aren't you? So just fork it over." Sam demands, holding out her hand.

I close my eyes, and held the note out. There's no point in fighting with Sam, it'll only make things worse.

"Go give this to him." She states, grabbing the note and giving the note to Maggie.

"Move along people!" She yells, making everyone go back to their seats begrudgingly.

She grabs me by the collar of my shirt. "Try me again Kara, I dare you." I gulp, while still looking at her.

She let's my go, and walks away with Alex having smirk on her face, as I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind.

"Kara, look! James invited me to his homecoming party! It has his signature and everything! He said he misses me, and wants to get to know me! This note proves he's been thinking about me!" Winn smiles, showing me the note.

"Color me stoked.." I say, trying my best to sound excited. "I'm so happy!" He smiles while jumping up and down _._

_What have I done?_

"You shouldn't have bowed down to the swatch dogs and diet coke heads. They're gonna crush that girl." A voice says.

I look over to see a kid reading a book. She looks kind of menacing, and really hot. Like, hot as in touching her could leave scorch marks.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask.

"Clearly you've got a soul, you just have to work harder on keeping it clean." She says while standing up and closing his book.

"We're all born marked for evil." She smirks.

She chuckles and starts to walk towards the door. "Hey, um don't just quote Baudelaire and walk away, excuse me." I exclaim, while running towards her and tapping her shoulder.

She turns around and looks at me. "I didn't catch your name." I finish.

She turns around and gives me that smug smile.

"I didn't throw it."

_Did she really just say that? 'Cause like_

_Omg omg omg OMG OMG OMGGGGGGG FGSGSHDJDUEKSKDJ._

_Is It HoT iN hErE oR iS iT jUsT mE???_

From a few tables away I absentmindedly hear Clark and James talking. But lets be real here, who can't? They're always really loud.

"Who does that kid think she is anyways, Bo Diddly?" James mutters. "Kara, seems to be into her, let's kick her ass!" Clark states. "Yo, she's a girl! Plus we're seniors now, we can't be doing that childish shit anymore." Clark doesn't listen, and I watch him walk over to where the new kid and I were standing, and slaps the book out of her hands.

"Hey sweet cheeks, what'd your girlfriend say when you told him you were moving to the small town of Midvale?" Clark asks going up to her face. James pushes the kid slightly. "My friend Clark just asked you a question." James says, trying to get an answer out of her.

"Hey James, doesn't the Caf has a no dykes aloud policy." Clark says smugly.

_Asshole. THAT LITTLE-_

"Well, it seems they have an open policy for assholes." She replies back, in a snarky tone.

_Omg, we had the same thought. Are we soulmates???_

"Hold her arms!" Clark yells to James.

Clark goes up to punch her, but the no name kid, kicks him in the groin. She shrugs James' off of her quickly.

Then she reaches into her pocket, and grabs a gun! They both of the boys back off and held up their hands, but she shoots them!

_Ha, I'm just kidding. That'd be terrible..._

After she got out of James' grasps, she turns around and punches him in the jaw, making James fall to the floor. Clark got back up, and the kid turns around and punches him in the chest, so now they're both on the ground.

She turns kicks James' body, as a crowd starts to form around them. Every screaming, cheering the kid on.

Clark gets up again, but this time the kid grabs him by the head, and collides both of their heads together, making a huge thumping noise and lets Clark's body drop to the floor.

_I know this is totally wrong and all, and trust me I am the least person who would condone fights. Like, I really shouldn't be watching this crap, but with this new kid, dammmnnnnnnn._

_Oooh, I should write a letter to her. That's really cheesy, but I don't really care._

_Hey Ms. No Named Kid,_

_Who are you, and after watching you fight today, I wanted to know, if you could fight for me? And hey, could you hold my hand, and carry me through no man's land? And um, you can punch real good-_

_Ya know what, I'm gonna scrap this. It sounds really creepy, and awkward._

**********

After school the Supergirls and I decided to go to my house, because I have a croquet lawn and they wanted to play a quick game before we started getting ready.

"God Kara, drool much? I never knew you were a dyke. You were practically throwing your panties at that new girl." Sam says, rolling her eyes.

There's a silent pause, and Sam looks back at Alex and Maggie. They both laugh awkwardly, and she looks back over to me.

"And by the look of your house, you really can't afford replacement panties." She smirks, while I put down the croquet ball.

She looks back at Alex and Maggie again, and they laugh.

"Oh come one, I don't even know her name, and yes I am gay, got a problem?" I ask, while testing her. She shrugs her shoulder and rolls her eyes, as I hit the ball with the mallet, starting the game.

"Oh, watch out mom!" I yell, seeing my parents walk out onto the grass in our backyard. She walks around the ball and over to the four us.

"Care for some pate?" She offers.

"That's not pate. It's liverwurst." Sam says in disgust.

"Oh, I know dear, it's a family joke." She chuckles.

_Way to go mom._

_I love my parents to pieces, we're really close, but they can be embarrassing._

_I can tell they're doing this on purpose too._

_I really don't think they're big fans of the Supergirls._

"Can someone please tell me why I read these spy novels?" My dad asks, in the middle of a book.

"It's because you're an idiot, dad."

"Oh, right." He chuckles.

"So, are you girls have any plans tonight?" My mom asks innocently. "Yeah, we're actually going to a big homecoming party tonight."

"Speaking of which." Sam says. The three girls picked up their balls and mallets, and walked towards our gate in unison.

"Please don't let those girls change you Kara. You don't need them, you have friends, like Winslow. You'd be better off without them."

"You know mom. Sometimes I want more out of life than liverwurst."

Sam calls me over, and I leave my parents in the backyard, with a disappointed look on their face.

*********

The sun has now set, and we all got ready for the party at Sam's house. It's a huge mansion but very dreadful. It reminds me of Winn's house, but with less abusive people inside.

On our way to the party, Sam stops the car outside of a 7-Eleven, and she sends me inside to get some snacks and sodas for the party.

While walking into the building she starts honking her car loudly, making me turn around. "AND DON'T FORGET THE CORN NUTS! IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT CORN NUTS!"

"Regular or BQ?"

"BQ!" She screams angrily.

I walk inside, and went down the isle with the chips. I grab a large bag of BQ corn nuts and some other chips.

Next I go to the isle with the sodas. I look around to see the options. They don't have any good sodas, all they have are small ones with weird flavors.

Might as well go to the machine to get a Big Gulp. It's easier for me to get an extra large of something good rather than get a small really bad soda.

I walked up to the machine at the back of the store and I look over to see someone in a big black trench coat, and slicked dark brown hair.

 _This_ _woman_ _looks mega creepy. It's the trench coat, definitely._

 _Sh_ _e turns around, feeling my staring behind h_ _er_ _._

_Hold up.._

_Is that?_

_~Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think of Lena?
> 
> Potstickers and Club Sodas for all!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The folks are gone, we're having big fun! We're up 'til dawn having some big fun!"

_Dear Diary,_   
_I don't know if it's fate or what, but I keep running into no named kid. And I don't know if it's me, but every time I see her, she gets hotter and hotter._

"Greetings and salutation, you want a Slurpee with that?" She asks, after spotting me.

"No, but if you're luck enough I'll let you buy me a Big Gulp." I reply playfully.

"Uh, that's like going to McDonalds and ordering a salad, Slurpees are the signature dishes of the house. Now did you say cherry or blue raspberry?"

"I said Big Gulp." I smirk, trying to challenge her. She rolls her eyes and laughs.

_Man, I could get used to that._

"Um anyways, I'm Kara Zorel, by the way. Are you ever going to tell me your name?" I say while walking closer to her.

"I'll end the suspense. I'm Lena, Lena Luthor." She smiles, giving her hand out to shake.

"So Lena, that's exotic. But cool. And that thing you pulled in the Caf was severe." I say awkwardly, trying my best not to blush.

"Well, I had to make a good impression." She shrugs. "So, what brings a Baudelaire quoting badass to the quiet suburbs of Midvale?"

"My dad's job, he owns a deconstruction company."

"Deconstruction?"

"Yeah, my old man likes tearing things down. Have you ever heard the commercial 'Well I'm big bud Luthor, if it's in your way I'll make your day!'?"

_I know what she's talking about I love that commercial!_

"Right! And then he pulls the plunger and there's a BIG explosion on screen!" I laugh.

"That's your dad?" I ask, realizing what that meant.

"In all of his toxic glory." She smiles.

"Yeah, well everyone's life has static." I smile.

"KARA!" Sam screams angrily from the car, honking the horn multiple times.

"Example!" I say pointing to the door. "I don't really like my friends that much."

"Yeah, I don't either." She agrees. "Why don't you ditch the party and hang here?" She asks.

"At a 7-Eleven? Swanky first date."

_Did I really just say swanky?_

"Hey, I love this place." She says defensively.

"Um, no offense. But, why?"

"I've been to so many high schools, like 10 I think. I've learned that there's no point in trying to make any friends, if I'm going to move in the next 3 to 6 months. This is the only place I can trust, I love everything about it."

"Every time things seem to get ruff, there is a 7-Eleven right there. The funny thing is, each store is the same. The linoleum isles, the slurpees." She continues

_Wow, I think she's like freaky obsessed with slurpees._

_Hot._

"Slurpees are like my cocaine, my crack. It relieves me. I enjoy the pain that comes with the slurpees too." She smiles.

"Pain?"

"Brain freezes." She answers simply.

"And does your mommy know you eat all that crap?"

"Not anymore, when my mom was alive I didn't have a need for it."

_Oh shit._

_Why am I so bad at this???_

"Now it's just me and my dad. But he's rarely around. I had to learn a lot of things because of her death. Like cooking, paying rent, etc."

"What's your favorite thing to cook?" I ask her gently.

"Probably potstickers or pizza."

_Holy shit, I think she is the most perfect girl I've ever met._

"But the most important thing I've learned is that the world doesn't owe you a cent."

I give her a weird look.

"I can already tell. You're the type to plan your future. You want to go to some Ivy League college, find your perfect guy, get married to him."

_Or girl_

_Also_

_How?_

_HOW??_

"But Kara I'm going to tell you now, it's probably not gonna happen." She says bluntly.

I was about to tell her off, but she smirks while turning around. She walks over to the slurpee machine and she pours a cup of blue raspberry flavored slurpee. She walks back over and hands it to me.

"What do I do with this?" I ask, confusedly.

"Try it."

I roll my eyes, and I take a sip from the straw.

"I'm telling you, this isn't going to do an- SON OF A BITCH!" I scream, feeling the brain freeze. I held my head in pain, and waited a few seconds for it to pass.

Once it does, I look up to see Lena smirking, again.

"So, how do you feel?"

Before I could answer, Sam storms over to Lena and I. "Kara, the snacks?" She says nonchalantly.

"Yes, Sam." I sigh, going back to the Big Gulp machine and pouring the soda.

"Now wave bye-bye to Red Dawn here, and let's motor." She snaps while walking out of the store.

She salutes me, and I follow Sam out the door.

********

When we got to the party, we were the first people there, with the exception of James and Clark. We helped them set up a bit, and as time went on, people started racking in. To the point where the house was crowded.

The speakers are blasting and everyone's dancing, and slightly tipsy.

Alex pulls me over, telling me about the thing she wanted to try when we were setting up.

"Okay Kara, I'm going to teach you how to make a tequila shot! So it's salt, then shot, and then lime. It's very important you get the order right."

I put the salt on the glass, I put the alcohol in and then I stick in the lime, and I take the shot.

"You're a natural, just like my mom!" She smiles while clapping.

I turn around, feeling a little woozy, when a guy comes up to me. He places his hand on my shoulder to stop my from falling over.

"Looking good, Kara!" He smiles while walking away.

_Woaaahhhhhh, A HOT DUDE SMILED AT ME, AND HE WASN'T MOCKING ME EITHERRRRRR!_

I start stumbling a little more and I ran into one of the stoners at my school.

"Woah, is that weed?" I ask. She smiles at me and nods. "Can I have a hit?" She laughs and hands me her joint.

I smoke it, while everyone gathers around me, cheering me on and laughing.

_Wow this party is funnnnn! People are laughing, BUT NOT AT ME. THEY'RE LAUGHING WITH ME!_

_THIS IS AWESOME!_

_I FEEL LIKE BONO AT LIVE AID!_

_Okay, I have to peeeeeeee!_

I walk upstairs to use the bathroom, and when I walked in, I found two girls kissing in James' bathtub!

"I think that's what they call third base." I chuckle to myself.

They see my and they stop awkwardly.

"No, no! I'm sorry! Keep going, that looks like big fun!" I say while laughing and stumbling out of the bathroom.

_I still need to pee..._

_Oh well!_

I look down their banister, taking another shot.

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE LISTEN UP!" Clark yells, coming out with a giant pig stuffed animal. "WHAT IS MIDVALE GONNA TO THE RAZORBACKS AT SUNDAYS GAME?"

James runs up to Clark. "WERE GONNA MAKE EM GO WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!" James yells, while humping the pig. Everyone starts laughing, when Clark joins James in humping the pig.

Maggie rolls her eyes, yelling something to the two boys. I couldn't hear what she said, but James leaves the pig and starts humping her.

She tries to get him off of her, but he won't let go and nobody's paying attention either.

"Quit it jackass, get off of me!" I hear her yell, while I'm stumbling down the steps and dodging people. When I make it down I run over to James.

"Hey James, big emergency! I just saw some freshman trying to sneak over the pool fence!" I yell frantically.

"I hate freshman! Where are you, you stupid little pricks!" He yells angrily, while running out to the backyard.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask gently.

"I didn't need your help." Maggie says madly, holding up her middle finger at me.

"Awww, thanks Maggie, but I don't need to vomit right now." I laugh. "Get it? 'Cause like, the finger." I chuckle, while point to my throat, making her groan and walk back over to the Supergirls.

She starts dancing like Alex and Sam, and Clark comes over and hands her a Jell-O shot, which she gladly takes.

I hear a door close, and I look over seeing Winn.

_Oh no.._

I wave him over, and he comes and joins me.

"I can't believe you really came." I say awkwardly, looking back to see the Supergirls holding the pig while looking at Winn.

"I know, it's exciting! Oh, I want to say hi to James, I brought mineral water!" He says happily, while walking over to the pool area. I try to stop him but it's too late.

_And mineral water? This is going to go really badly.._

I follow him over, and I listen into their conversation.

"Hi James, I really wasn't going to come. This isn't my scene but I wanted to say thank you for writing that sweet note." He says happily holding out the mineral water.

He takes the water out of his hands. "What note? Why do you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn't hate you as much if you just acted normal, I'm just saying." He opens the cap and starts chugging the water.

He spits it out on Winn, and starts yelling. "THIS ISN'T ALCOHOL! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME?" He yells loud enough so that everyone down stairs could hear him.

I look back to see the Supergirls snickering at Winn, which makes my blood boil.

Winn pushes past everyone while running into the house. I look at him sympathetically. While everyone laughs at him.

I run in the house to see him cleaning himself off in the kitchen. The spit up water only got his face...

_Gross, I'm sorry Winn.._

"Alright Midvalers, time to do our pre-game tradition. We're gonna smack the shit out of their mascots!" Sam yells, making everyone start cheering.

"But, we'll need someone to do the honors." Alex sighs.

"Guys, what about Winslow Schott? I think he should do the honors!" Sam smiles.

Everyone moves out of the way so the Supergirls could see Winn in the kitchen.

"I-I don't really know this game.." He says awkwardly, clearly trying to get out of it.

"Aww, come on guys, let's give Winn some Midvale spirit!" Alex yells. She starts cheering Winn's name, and soon everyone joined in.

Winn walked forwards slowly, and Sam took off his glasses, placing the blindfold over his emerald green eyes.

Sam started spinning Winn around when Maggie brought out the pig.

The pig was made to look like an exact replica of Winn. It had big black glasses, a pink shirt with suspenders, and chestnut hair.

_No, I'm not gonna let them do this. This joke had gone to far!_

I run over to Maggie, and I start wrestling her for the pig. Everyone starts laughing and cheering, while Sam is screaming for me to stop, accidentally pushing Winn to the ground.

I look to the ground to see Winn on the floor, taking the blindfold off.

I finally snatched the pig out of Maggie's hand and I run over to the door, that leads to the pool.

"Come one Kara, give us the damn pig!" Sam demands.

"If you want the pig, then swim for it!" I yell in anger, throwing the pig into the pool.

I walked back in the house hearing everyone mumble, sounding disappointed.

"Winn, go home." I say gently, helping him stand up, and giving him his glasses.

"But why? Kara, what's going on?"

"Just go, Winn."

Winn still wouldn't move.

"Go!" I scream, loosing my patience.

He gets up slowly, slightly hurt. He speed walks through the crowd until we all heard a door slam closed.

I turned back to the Supergirls. "I gave it a shot. I'm resigning my commission from the lipgloss Gestapo and going back to civilian life."

"No." Sam's states, while pushing me.

Everyone starts getting riled up. "Please don't push me, I'm not feeling well!" I cry out, but my pleas were drowned out by the voices.

Sam grabs me by the collar of my shirt. "You don't get to be a nobody! Come Monday, you're an ex somebody. Not even the losers are going to touch. You can transfer to Washington and you can transfer to Jefferson but no one at Midvale is going to let you play your fucking reindeer games!" She screams.

And before she could say anything else, I barfed on her shoes.

Everyone starts snicker, but when she makes a high pitched scream, everyone goes to a halt.

"I RAISED YOU UP FROM NOTHING, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME, IN PUKE?" She screams angrily.

"Lick it up bitch, lick it up." I smirk, while wiping the remaining vomit off of my mouth.

She walks close to me calmly.

"I know who I'm eating with at lunch on Monday, do you?"

She walks back over to the crowd. Every time I look at someone, they'll turn away.

I look down and run out of the house, hearing Sam yelling something which gets the whole crowd cheering.

***********  
 _So this is great. The Demon-Queen Of High School has decreed that I'm dead on Monday morning, I don't have a ride home, and it just started raining!_

_Now time to review my options. I could stay and die on Monday, or I could change my name and ride up to Seattle._

_Wait, I don't own a motorbike. And Seattle is on like the other side of America, that's a lot of gasoline._

_Ughhhh, I'm running out of options!_

_Maybe I could-_

_Woahhhhhhhhh_

_I could definitely do that._

_~Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think Kara will do?
> 
> Potstickers for all!
> 
> Later Sk8ter lol byee


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sorry but I really had to wake you, see I decided I must ride you 'til I break you."

_Dear Diary,_  
_I think I'm about to break into someone's house. But like, who cares? What's the best way to do this? I could go through the front door, or the window..._

I climbed up the pole on the side of the house and I took a bobby-pin out of my hair. After fiddling with the window lock for a few minutes, I finally snap it off.

I climb in the window to see a dark room. I looked around for a moment.

Her room is very large. Everything is in perfect place. Books are stacked neatly on the desk, the pictures are in perfect place and the floor doesn't even have a speck of dirt.

I looked at her bed, to see her resting with a sleep mask on her face. She looks peaceful.

I walked over to her bed and jumped on it, scaring the pale woman out of her peaceful sleep.

She lifts up her mask to see me smiling widely at her.

"Um, Kara, what are you doing in my room?" She asks quietly, a bit frightened.

I shush her very loudly.

"Hi! I came through the window. Your house is hard to get into, but it was the only way! Sam is going to kill me on Monday and so now I'm gonna have sex with you cause your my last meal on death row!" I say happily.

She gives me a confused look and rub her eyes.

"You're gay?" She asks cautiously. I nod my head up and down really fast. "Oh my god, I thought you were just an oblivious straight girl."

"Come on! Loose the big girl panties!" I whine, snapping the buttons off of my blazer.

I jump off of the bed and she looks at me strangely.

"Are you okay?" She asks wearily. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" I giggle, while starting to unbutton my polka dot blouse.

"Woah there Kara. Can you please button up you shirt?"

"You're really amazing. And I know your life kinda sucked now I'm going to make it better! We can leave that cruel world out there, because in here it's beautiful.. Well, we can make it beautiful, if you get what I mean." I smile, walking over to her and nudging her.

I leaned in to kiss her, and she goes into it. I push her down so that she's laying on the bed and I'm on top of her.

After a few moments she leans back. "How'd you even get here Kara?"

I ignore her question and leaned back in to kiss her. A few moments later, we hear a ripping noise, and she goes wide eyed.

"I think you might have torn my mattress!" She whisper yells, not wanting to wake the rest of the people in her house.

I got into kiss her again. "You better chug that mountain due, cause you ain't getting no sleep tonight!" I yell playfully.

"Okay Kara, that's where we stop. I can't do this anymore." She sighs, pulling me off of her.

"Why not, we we're having so much fun!" I pout.

"I'm not going to take advantage of you. You're clearly under the influence of something, and I feel like you've never done this before."

"I'm not under the influence of anything!" I laugh nervously, while crossing my arms.

She looks at me incredulously. "You know, when you lie you get this crinkle up here." She says blatantly, poking the crinkle.

I cross my eyes and tried to look up at it, frowning. "I do not have I crinkle! Plus that doesn't prove anything."

"Yes you do. Plus your pupils are really dilated."

I rolled my eyes. "So what?"

"Again I'm not going to take advantage of you, but thanks for the offer." She sighs, putting on her mask and pulling the covers on her, turning the other way.

I huff, and laid my head down on one her pillows, my arms still crossed.

"Are you sure? Like, one hundred percent positive?" She starts snoring really loudly, trying to ignore me.

"Fine. Have it your way you big meanie." I huff, turning the other way.

I pulled the covers over me and close my eyes, slowly drifted into unconsciousness.

********

"Wake up slut!" Sam yells at me, waking me up from my slumber. I looked around to see I'm still in Lena's room.

"How did you even get in here?" I ask frantically.

"I'm like oxygen, I'm everywhere. And really, Kara? Sleeping with psycho trench coat girl? I will crucify you for this. Everyone in school is going to know that the innocent little Kara Zorel is a dirty little whore."

"Why are you so determined to hurt me!"

"Because I can, it'll be so very." She smirks.

Out of the darkness, the rest of my classmates appear. All of them are chanting my name around me, each one getting louder and louder.

They started walking to me, each movement making them come closer and closer, and I'm extremely claustrophobic!

I got out of the bed and ran to the door. I grabbed the nob and tried to open it but it's locked. I struggled to open it as they got closer and closer.

They trapped me in a small space, making it really hard to breathe. They only got closer.

The room got blurry, and I fell to the floor holding my head. I kept going in and out of conscious and each time I gained it the were closer.

I closed my eyes tightly and covered my eyes, too overwhelmed by the loud yelling.

I opened my eyes to see Sam in front of me. She grabs me by the neck and pulls me up by it.

The crowd makes a parting for her as I tried to get out of her choke hold. She goes into the window and pushed me against the ledge.

"Kara, you are no hero just as I am no devil. All I am is truth, and judgement. And I will reign." She says nonchalantly, releasing her grip, making me fall out of the mansion.

Everyone gathered by the window watching me fall, still chanting my name.

*********

"Kara!"

"Kara!" A female shrieks in my ear, making me shoot up while screaming.

I look over to see Lena shirtless, with a bra on while I'm panting. I only have on a bra and underwear too.

"You're soaking wet." She sighs, placing a hand on my shoulder. I flinch away, and she retracts her hand.

_Why did I do that? I'm not like this, I'm not the type of girl to sleep with someone._

How could she do that! Unless she didn't know.

"Kara. It's okay, breathe. It was just a dream." She says calmly.

"No!" I yell, placing my hands on my head. Everything around me starts getting blurry, tears forming in my eyes.

I got up and started looking for my clothes, that were all over the room.

My heart is racing and my hands are extremely clammy. I crouch down on the floor, my breathing getting heavier.

"Kara, please breathe. In and out." She whispers crouching down with me.

I listen to what she says. I breathe in and out. I do that for a few minutes, still feeling really shaky.

"We didn't have sex, just so you know." She says calmly.

_Oh._

"I couldn't take advantage of you. You weren't acting like yourself, you were clearly under the influence. Do you remember anything from last night?"

I shake my head. "I don't remember anything after the party."

I look down to see my hands are still shaking.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

_Shit, thanks for the reminder Lena._

I got up, and finally started putting on my clothes.

"Hey, what's the rush?" She asks. "Um, I have to get to Sam's." I say trying to button up my white blouse.

"Why, I thought you were done with Sam."

"Yeah, and it was a sweet fantasy. A world without Sam, a world where everyone is free! But now it's morning and I have to go kiss her ass." I chuckle lightly, feeling sorry for myself.

Lena finally stands up. "Well, let me come with." She says, putting on her shirt.

"Really?"

"Ya know, for back up." She smiles.

_And oh, I could get used to that smile._

"Okay!" I stutter out.

She walks over and I kissed her, and she doesn't pull away.

"By the way, um thank you. You know for not taking advantage of me." I say pulling away from her, and walking towards the door as she follows behind me.

*******  
So, turns out Alex, James, Lena, Sam and Winn lives in the same neighborhood. They're all rich and they have huge houses.

After a 5 minute walk, we arrived at her house.

It was a salmon color, and had really dark windows. There's a fountain in the front, surrounded by plants.

We walked up the steps and I knocked on her door. Her mother shouldn't be here, opened it slightly, knowing it was always unlocked.

"Sam?" I call out into the mansion, hearing my voice echo, but I didn't get a response.

"Maybe she's not home." Lena shrugs, clearly not interested in finding her.

"She's at home, trust me. She'll do anything to skip to skip Saturdays trip to her grandma's, even if she's not hungover."

Lena and I started waking up her steps, and I continued to call her name out.

"What!" She screams after getting up the top of her stairs.

"Um, it's Kara. I came here to apologize after what happened last night." I yell.

"Well, I hope you brought knee pads bitch! Fix me a prairie oyster and I'll think about it." She yells coldly.

We both go back downstairs, and we wander our way into the kitchen.

It was very modern. She had a tiled floor, and white lights in the ceiling. She had a proline microwave and a black stove in the middle of her counters. She has off-white cabinets and a white refrigerator.

I go to her cabinets and pulled out a mug, Lena repeating the same action.

"Okay now what are the ingredients of a prairie oyster?" I ask her, while tapping my foot and looking at the cabinets.

"A raw egg, vinegar, Worcester sauce, tomato juice, hot sauce, salt and pepper."

As she goes through the list, I go in Sam's cabinet and refrigerator to look for the items.

I grab the eggs, Worcester sauce, and tomato juice from the fridge, and the hot sauce, salt and pepper from the cabinets.

I then look under her kitchen sink to find the vinegar, then I put the final object on the counter.

"You really know your hangover cure." I smirk. "Yeah, my dad and my brother taught me a lot of things."

I start adding the ingredients into the mug and I watched Lena grab something from under the sink.

"Oh hey, here's my revenge. I'll drop a phlegm globber into her prairie oyster." I chuckle.

While I started trying to hack one up, I see Lena pour something into the other mug she grabbed.

"You know, I'm more of a no rust build up kind of girl myself." She smirks. "Lena, don't be a dick, that stuff will kill her." I chuckle.

"Thus ending her Reign of terror at Midvale high school. Sounds like a win-win situation to me."

"Sam would never drink anything that looks like that, nice try though."

"Chicken." She smirks, starting to make the animal's movement. "You're not funny." I say playfully, leaning in to give her a kiss.

She gladly accepts it, but we were interrupted by Sam screaming for me to bring her the prairie oyster.

I grab the cup and started going upstairs.

"Uh, Kara." I hear Lena say awkwardly. "Hmm?" I ask, noticing she was looking into the cup.

"Oh, nothing." She smiles, changing her worried behavior.

_Okay then, um interesting._

We both head back upstairs and we go into the mean girl's lair.

"Good morning, Sam." I smile awkwardly, walking into her room with the cup.

"Ah Kara, and Bonnie Parker." She pauses, and we stood there awkwardly.  
"Well, let's get to it." She starts, while getting up.

"Beg." She commands.

I sigh. "Look Sam, we both said things that we regret last night and-"

"I'd actually prefer if you did this on your knees. In front of your doll face here." She interrupts. I looked back at Lena. "Yeah, uh, anyhow. I'm really sorry-"

"Does it look like I'm kidding? Down!" She says emphasizing each word, and pointing to the ground.

I sigh, and get down on both of my knees, offering her the prairie oyster.

"Nice. But you're still dead to me." She states while grabbing the prairie oyster, and starting to drink it.

I get up off of my knees and she takes the cup off of her mouth, and it drops to the floor.

She starts coughing a lot, starting to cough up blood. She puts both hands on her throat and tries to speak, blue staining her teeth and tongue.

_Wait, blue?_

She reaches out to us and we step back subconsciously. Her eyebrows furrow, and she stands still. Not a single noise or movement.

"Corn n-nuts!" She chokes before crashing through her glass coffee table, and landing on the floor in glass.

"Holy crap!" Lena yells in a sarcastic voice. "Don't just stand there, call 911!" I yell, running over to her.

Lena goes down and checks her pulse, while I started doing the Heimlich maneuver. "Come on Sam!" I yell.

"It's too late, she's gone."

I grab her face. "Sam, please wake up, wake up!" I started slapping her face slightly.

When she doesn't respond I drop her head out of my hands and it slumps over to the sides.

"I just killed my best friend!" I scream in terror. "And your worst enemy!" Lena adds.

"Same difference."

"Oh my god, I'm going to have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford. Why is this my life!" I say breathing heavily, while checking her pulse one more time.

"Alright, we did a murder, and that's a crime right? But like, what if we turn this into a suicide?" Lena breathes, looking over at a note pad.

"Are you insane!"

"Well it's better than going to jail for murder!" She yells back at me in an angered voice, making me take a step back.

"You know Sam's handwriting like the back of your hand, now write." She says calmly, opening Sam's drawer and handing me a pen and paper.

I let out a shaky breath and picked up the pen.

"You might think what I've done is shocking," she starts out. "Uh, to me though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me." She says.

"We can't put myriad down, she failed that word on her vocabulary quiz last week." I sigh. "Then it'll represent the failures in her past, work with me here Kara!"

I continue to write what she said down, until we finished the note.

We walked over to her body, and placed the note in her right hand, and cleaned up the extra evidence in her house.

We heard the door open, so we exited out of the window in her bedroom. While we were walking down the block, we heard her mom scream bloody murder, making me shudder.

_Oh god, what have we done?_

_~ Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, what an eventful chapter, eh.
> 
> Love and potstickers to all! 
> 
> Peace out!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, especially since I have everything written already. I've been doing a business camp and it's really taken up my time. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> TW: Rape/Non-Con

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Our love is god.."

_Dear Diary,_

_The fake suicide is turning out worse than I thought, although Lena thinks it's a great thing._

_We got half of the week off from school, and the funeral was today. It was really sad, and both of her parents were there. They got a divorce when we were in middle school and refused to ever see each other again, until now. I couldn't even bare looking into her mother's eyes._

_It was just so bad._

_At school, Mrs. In-Ze made us speak our feelings about her suicide. No one cared, and most people lied about their feelings for Sam. After one comment about her number 1 enemy missing her so much, I bursted out laughing, but quickly started fake crying, so no one would know._

"Kara!" Lena yells pulling me out of my thoughts. I was waiting for her to get dressed as the funeral has just ended and we were still in black.

Even though Lena always wears black.

I follow her into her car, and we rode to her house.

We got out of the car and she pulled out her keys. She carefully unlocks the door, making sure to stay quiet.

"I don't know if my brother is here, and frankly I don't want to. So we can hang down here." She suggests, I nod my head and we sat down on her white couch.

I looked at the carpeted floor, while she looks at the white long ottoman.

There is a deafening silence. I can feel Lena start to get anxious. Her breathing becomes louder and she quickly moves to grab the remote and turns on the TV.

I look up to see it turned to the news channel, and Maggie was on it.

"At times like these, people choose to focus on their grief. Well, I hate those people, because I am a positive person."

"I still remember when Sam and I got our ears pierced at the mall." Maggie says to the camera, probably loving all the attention she was getting.

In an attempt to change channels Lena switches the TV's language to French. "Je me souviens de bons moments avec Sam Arias. Nous avons eu tellement de plaisir à sleepovers."

Lena switches the channel to another news station. "And those sleepovers were so much fun, we would do our nails, write silly notes about our classmates in a book-"

"Gosh, how many channels is she on? Just turn it off." I groan.

Lena clicks the remote, then gets up and walks towards the doorway and turns around, looking behind me. "Young man, I didn't hear you come in." She smirks.

"Hey mom, how was work today?" A man asks behind me, making me jump.

The man pauses and goes on a treadmill, with a can of beer in hand.

"It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old hags tried to stop me from terminating a flea bag hotel. All because Glen Miller and his band took a piss there."

I look over to Lena and she chuckles silently.

"It's just like Kansas, you remember Kansas?" He asks, Lena smirks as the man continues to tell the story. "It was the one with the wheat, Save the Memorial Oak Tree Society. Showed those pricks." He laughs.

"30 of those 4th of July fireworks attached to the truck. Arranged but acquitted." Lena tells me.

He continues walking on the treadmill when he quickly notices me. "Geez mom, I forgot to introduce you to my girlfriend." Lena's dad says while looking at me.

"Kara, this is my dad. Dad, this is Kara."

"Hi!" I smile, holding my hand out to shake. He presses a beer into my hand, making me look down at it awkwardly.

"Son, why don't you invite Kara to stay for dinner?" Lena suggests, making her dad look at me expectantly.

"Um, my mom is making my favorite meal tonight, pizza and potstickers! Lots of pineapples." I smile, while getting up. "Nice, the last time I saw my mom she was waving at me through a window at a library in Texas, right dad?" She smiles looking at her dad.

Her dad looks at her, and continues jogging. "Right sweetheart." Her dad says while smiling but not looking over at us.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow." I say awkwardly placing the beer can on the table. And walking towards the door.

_Lena's dad will not be speaking at our wedding.._

********

As I was walking down the street towards my house, I heard my cell phone start ringing.

I open my Motorola phone and pressed the grey answer button.

"Kara?" The voice says over the phone, sounding panicked. It took me a moment to realize who it was. "Alex?"

"I need you to come to the cemetery and fast! It's an emergency!" She exclaims. "What's wrong?"

"I can't say, just come quickly!" She yells, as I hear the line go dead.

_So much for pizza and potstickers.._

**********

After a 10 minute walk through the forest, I get to the parking lot of the cemetery, where I see Maggie's Jeep parked and Alex standing beside it, so I run up to her.

"Is Clark alright?" I ask, running up to the shaken girl. "He passed out." Alex says calmly, looking at his body on the floor.

"What happened to you guys?"

"Maggie, Clark, James and I came to pour a jug of thunderbird on Sam's grave, you know, for her homies." She says doing the symbol with her hands. "But Clark and James drank it all. James went off with Maggie, then Clark started grabbing me and he wouldn't stop." She sighs.

"How did you get him to stop? And after everything that's happened recently especially the party, why call me?" I ask wearily.

"Oh well that was the deal," she chuckles. "If I got you here, Clark says that he would leave me alone."

There was a long pause.

"So you decided to avoid date rape. By signing me up, for date rape?"

Alex pauses. "Well, you make it sound bad when you put it like that." She says quietly, as I sigh.

We look over and see James on the floor in a begging position by Maggie. She rolls her eyes and turns towards us to walk away, but James grabs her leg. So she starts trudging over to us with him attached to her.

"Hey Kara!" I hear Clark slur, lifting his head up from the ground.

Alex looks at Clark disgustedly, and goes into Maggie's car, locking the door on the inside.

"Okay, you know what, I'm leaving now." I spoke, as I watch Clark try to drunkenly stand up and stumble his way over to me.

"No! I've waited 10 whole beers for you!" He says solemnly, falling over beside me.

"Damnit James, I said I'm done!" I hear Maggie yell. She finally made her way to the car, dragging James' body on the ground with her.

"Alex, unlock the door!" Maggie grunts, finally loosing James' grip on her leg. Alex unlocks the door and Maggie gets into the car quickly, slamming the door and locking it back, leaving me out here with them.

James starts groaning until he looks up and sees me. "Hey Kara!" He smiles smugly, starting grinding his hips on the ground.

"Nope, I'm not doing this." I say, starting to walk out of the cemetery.

Clark grabs onto my leg though, as James makes his way over. Clark waits for James to start hugging me from behind, then gets up and grabs my wrists roughly.

"Let me go you douche bags!" I yell, struggling in their gasps. I hear giggles and I see Alex and Maggie watching chuckling from the car.

I kick Clark in the balls, and I shrugged James off of me, Maggie and Alex still giggling.

I ran over to Maggie's car and started banging on the window.

"Open the door!" I yell desperately, as the two guys started getting back up.

I feel James behind me again, and he starts tugging on my blazer, making it rip open.

He starts feeling me up, as I struggled to get him off of me. He flips me over to face him and pins me to the car, ignoring my pleas for him to get off of me.

He puts his lips against mine and holds me in place while I struggle. I try kicking him but he won't let go.

"Come on dude, you have to share!" I hear Clark slur behind him, slightly pissed off.

James grabs me by the wrist and throws me to the ground, making me land with a soft thud.

I take my chance and started to scoot back quickly keeping my eye on James as he got visibly angered.

I got up and turned around only for me to bump into Clark. He pulls me into a kiss again, and I feel James come behind me.

James starts unbuttoning my blouse and sucking on my neck and running his hands over my body, while I struggled to pull away from Clark.

A gun shot goes off in the distance, making them shoot up and cover their ears, not being able to handle the loud sound while drunk.

I push them to the ground and started running, my legs taking me as fast as they possibly can. I look back every so often and I watched to two boys collapse on the ground and pass out in a drunken mess.

*******

While walking back to my house I hear a motorcycle pull up behind me.

"What happened to pizza and potstickers?" Lena asks feeling slightly hurt seeing me still walking.

"Alex asked for a favor, but I didn't know it was gonna end as badly as it did." I stutter out, still visibly shaking.

"Wow, I would have never known you'd be this worried for cheating, you're practically shaking." She says bluntly. "Cheating?" I whisper, tears forming in my eyes, and a stray falling down my cheek.

"Oh please, I saw you at the graveyard a few minutes ago, you don't have to lie, I was the one who shot off the gun in the first place. I just can't believe you would do that, with them.." She says coldly.

"I didn't! They were drunk and they came on me. I couldn't get them off and they wouldn't stop, if you hadn't shot that gun any sooner, I could've been.." I choked out, tears falling down my face.

Lena looks at me guiltily. "I should've came down and killed them. I saw you struggling but I didn't believe you could've been in that situation, I-I'm so sorry Kara." She sighs pulling me into a hug as I cried in her shoulder.

After I was reduced to sniffles, Lena pulls away.

"Well, do you wanna go get a slurpee with me? It really helps." She asks.

"Sure." I sniffle, noticing anger in her eyes.

She is planning something, I know she is. But what?

*********

_So, close call last night._

_After I got the slurpee with Lena, she told me to tell my mom._

_I did and it did not turn out well. She didn't believe that they would ever do something like that, because they were nice boys._

_Why would I lie about it though? I tried to tell her but in the end, she just put it off as boys being boys, and that it didn't mean anything._

_All I've learned from that situation is that adults can't and won't help you. Maybe Lena was right about that.._

_Also, fun fact! Turns out Sam was the only person who could keep Clark and James from going out of line. And she is dead.._

"Aw, look who's having second thoughts."

_Oh yes, guys, meet the ghost of Sam Arias._

_I can't get her out of my head, she's been there ever since I murdered her. And it's driving me insane._

_And yes, I didn't technically murder Sam, it was an accident, and I know that. But I still feel bad.. But not as bad as I should._

_And that makes me feel even worse._

I close my diary and look over to see Alex and Maggie cleaning out Sam's locker.

I walked over to the two of them and crossed my arms. "Hey, so when are you guys going to apologize for being ice cold bitches to me last night?"

"Uh, have a little respect. We're cleaning out Sam's locker here." Maggie snaps.

"Maggie is such a sad little poser, tell her to stop touching my stuff."

"Kara. KARA!"

"Just shut up!" I yell, making Maggie madder than before.

"No, I don't have to shut up anymore!" She says confidently. She reaches into the locker and pulls something out, holding it up in the air.

"Hey, that's Sam's red scrunchie!" Alex calls out offensively, as Maggie ties it around the green rubber band in her hair.

"Shut up, Alex." She says coldly, as Alex takes a step back shyly. "Sam is gone now, and she needs someone to replace her."

"Replace Sam?" I smirk.

"You should be less worried about me and more about your reputation. Clark, James and I have been telling the whole school about your little three way last night." Maggie smirks.

"Nothing happened Maggie, you know that."

"Well I remember it differently, I remember there was a nice big sword fight in your mouth last night." She smirks, as Lena comes towards us.

The 3rd period bell rang and people starting coming out of the classrooms, the whole time they were staring at me while whispering.

"It was so crowded! And then we both went south and planted our flags!" I hear Clark laugh, while talking to his friends down the hall. "I hope she rinsed her mouth out." One of the guys say.

_They were right.. The whole school knows about this._

As people kept staring and giggling, I felt tears start to well up in my eyes.

"This isn't true! They tried to do it, but I got away. I didn't do anything! Alex back me up!" I looked over to Alex and she lowered her head.

Clark continues the story more people gathering around him laughing. People in the crowd murmured things like whore and slut.

James joins in with Clark, and they have everyone laughing along with them at this point.

"And then she swallowed all of it, and she still couldn't get enough!" James laughs.  
"And she'll do the same for you!" Maggie snickers to the crowd.

The second bell rings and everyone goes to their classes, giggling or yelling things like slut at me if they passed by.

"See Kara, it was only a matter of time before you were outed. The school finally knows how much of a dirty little slut you are." Sam smirks.

Tears started streaming down my cheeks. Lena walks over and pulls me into a hug. Her fists are clenched and her knuckles are white.

"Lena?"

She pulls away and walked over to the two boys, trying to start a fight with them again. This time she's not doing so well.

They punched her to the ground and started kicking her.

"You're probably jut like your girlfriend! A slutty dyke!" Clark laughs while kicking her.

"Stop, please!" I beg running over to the laughing boys.

Clark calls me a whore, then the two guys run away while laughing.

"Are you okay?" I ask shakily, while bending down to check on her. She has a few scrapes on her leg, a black eye, and a dried up blood from her cracked lips.

"Kara, I'm fine. What about you?" She asks worriedly, while sitting up.

"Awesome." I say, tears coming into my eyes. She brings me close to her again and I cried in her shoulder.

After a few minutes, I stopped.

"I'm sorry for all of the waterworks." I sniffle.

"They made you cry." She says, while rubbing my back. "That will end tonight. You're the only thing that's right in this broken world, Kara. So go ahead and cry. But when the morning comes, we'll burn it down and build the world again." She sighs.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask worriedly. "I was alone, broken. But you came along and fixed me. They hurt you and they're not going to get away with it. I have a plan."

**********

Once I got home from school I immediately called Clark.

"Hey Clark?" I say into the phone innocently. "This is Kara."

"I didn't expect you to call." He says, sounding chill. I heard noise in the background, they two boys were freaking out, but they put the phone on speaker.

"Yeah, I didn't expect to call you either. It's just, my feelings took a hold of me." I paused. "How did you guys know it was a fantasy to have two guys at once?"

I heard the two boys get excited in the background. "Uh, lucky guess?" James says awkwardly.

"Well, if you want it to actually come true, meet me at the cemetery at sunrise before school." I smirk. They got wild over the phone.

"Wait, what about your stupid girlfriend?" Clark asks. "Lena? She doesn't matter. Plus she doesn't have to know, now does she?" I say seductively.

"Nope!" The reply back instantly.

"Alright, see you then." I turn off the phone and started giggling to myself.

Lena smirked as she was watching me the entire phone call.

I watch Lena pull out two guns, and we both start loading them.

She hands me any diary and a pen.

"What's the point of writing a suicide note if we're shooting them with blanks?" I ask. "Because we're not shooting them with blanks."

_She's gotta be joking, right?_

"I'm sorry what? You can't be seriously."

"I am." She says still focused on loading the gun. "I'm going to kill them, they messed with you."

"Okay, Lena my Bonnie and Clyde days are over." I say trying to move away from her, but she grabs my shoulder, starting to chuckle.

"I'm only joking Kara. These are ich lüge bullets, my grandpa used a ton of them during WWII. They're like tranquilizers. They break the surface of the skin enough to cause minor bleeding but no real damage." She informs.

"So it appears that the person was killed, but they're just unconscious while bleeding?" I say slowly, and she nods.

She hands me a pen and paper and tells me to write a suicide note about gay forbidden love.

I watch Lena pull out a flower handbag, and she started pulling out the items in the bag.

She pulls out an issue of stud puppy, a heart shaped candy dish with chocolate inside, a Joan Crawford postcard, some mascara, and...

_Mineral water?_

"What's all this stuff for?" I ask curiously.

"Our plan is to shoot them with the ich luge bullets, place the suicide note and the bag down, and by the time they wake up, they'll be the laughing stock of the school." She chuckles.

_Wow, she is so cute when she laughs._

I pull Lena into a kiss and we both fell on my bed. We pull apart and started laughing.

She wraps her arm around me and later there laughing for forever.

**********

Lena and I got to the cemetery ten minutes earlier. She hands me a gun, and I put it into the pocket inside my blazer. I watch Lena grab a stick and draw two circles with it.

We joke around for a few minutes until we heard a car pull up in the parking lot. Lena grabs her gun, bag, and suicide note and goes to hide behind a tree.

I watch the two boys get out of the car and look around. Clark spots me and hits James' arm. They both speed walk bumping into each other a little, until they are a few feet away from me.

"Hey, Kara." Clark says in a chill manner, his voice sounding a little bit high.

I wave to the two boys shyly. "Hey so do we just rip it out or what?" James asks, making Clark punch his arm, slightly annoyed.

"Slow it down James." I smirk. "I was hoping you guys could stand in those two circles and, strip for me." I smile innocently.

"Okay." They say simultaneously, going to stand in the circles. They took their jacket shirt and pants off slowly attempting to be sexy.

They were obviously drunk.

_Why are they always drunk?_

They now stood only in their boxers. Clark's has hearts and James' had stripes.  
They both started rubbing their nonexistent abs, and was grinding the air.

_This is going to be way easier than I thought._

"Wait, what about you Kara?" Clark asks. "Well I was hoping I could take them off without you guys looking, you know, surprise you." I smirk.

They both start agreeing but it sounded more like word vomit.

"Close your eyes and count to three." I say slyly.

They close their eyes and we all start counting. I feel Lena's presence behind me so I pulled the gun out of my pocket and cocked it.

The two boys are getting really excited, and when they say 3 Lena joins in with them.

They open their eyes confusedly and we both shoot at them.

Lena shot James in the center of his chest but I missed, and dropped the gun as I started laughing.

"You killed my best friend!" Clark screams, as he starts to run immediately.

"You miss him completely?" Lena yells. "Yeah but it was worth it just to see the look on his face." I chuckle.

"You know what, stay here I'm going to get him back over here." And with that Lena was off.

I look back at James' body on the ground. There was a pool of blood around him, all of it seeping into the ground, while he stared blankly at the sky.

_That's kind of creepy.._

I stared at the body for a while. He didn't look unconscious, and that's way more blood than Lena said there would be.

I slowly and cautiously walk over to James. I bend down and put two of my fingers on his wrist to check his pulse, and there wasn't one.

_He's dead._

_Lena killed him.. I killed him._

_Shit._

_~Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhhh, I'm sorry.. It's only going to get angstier too.. You deserve all the potstickers in the world! Have a great day!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Can't we be seventeen? That's all I want to do. If you could let me in, I could be good with you."

_Dear Diary,_

_My teen angst bullshit has a body count._

After two minutes, Clark comes back around while running. But Lena is behind me. She found a short cut.

Right when Clark sees the two of us he's already in the circle again, and Lena pulls the trigger, hitting Clark right where his heart is.

Tears start to form in my eyes, as Lena starts cleaning up the scene. She cleans both of the guns off and tells me to help her, taking me out of my shock.

"No."

"What?"

"No, I don't want to be apart of this anymore!" I yelled.

"Would you shut up! When I got to the edge of the graveyard I heard police cars! So if you don't want to go to prison for the rest of your life, stop pouting and help me!"

I get on the ground and picked up the fallen gun with my sleeve.

"Remember James is left handed." Lena says while placing the gun and suicide note in Clark's hand, and placing the bag in the middle.

We hear voices approaching so we both get up and run.

It's the cops.

One of them sends another to look for us, hearing the leaves crunching.

As we went on forward, Lena grabs a stick and throws it in the opposite direction and tells me to walk quietly but with speed.

We hear leaves crack, but it's the cops going the other way.

We finally got into the car and we hopped in. "Kara, you're going to have to trust me." She sighs.

I nod and she goes on top of me and rips my shirt open, pulling me into a heated kiss.

I heard footsteps come down and I lean into the kiss more.

"Sawyer, what's going on?" We hear the radio call out. "I think what I heard back there was just a bunny rabbit. All I got here is a couple of kids making out in a station wagon. Should I pry them apart?"

"Just forget it, I got all the answers I need back here." Detective Sawyer says, which makes my heart skip a beat. "Suicides." He says flatly.

The cop looks at us hesitantly, then walks back to the sight.

When he's out of sight I pull away and button my shirt up. And we both drive off to school without saying a word.

_Okay, I'm going steady, and Lena is kind of awesome if a bit too rock and roll.. Lately she's bumped off 3 of my classmates._

_God have mercy on my soul._

_It's been a while since I've done that, haha- wait.. No, I'm going to continue now.._

_They were just seventeen. They still had room to grow. They could have turned out good._

_But now we'll never know..._

_Okay I know this is sad and all but dang, I could be the next Shakespeare with those lines._

"So we killed them." I mutter. "Yep." She says in reply taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Ich lüge bullets, I'm such in idiot!" I mutter, putting my hands through my hair. "Well, look, you believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your feelings were too gross and icky for you to face." She smirks.

"I did not want them dead!" I yell. "Did to." Lena says lowly a few moments later. We bantered back and forth for a few minutes until I started screaming Mary Had a Little Lamb over her while covering my ears.

Lena finally gave up, and crossed her arms. "You're so childish." She sighs, making me stick my tongue out at her. "You love me." I say playfully.

"Yes, I do. Kara Zorel, I love you." She confesses, making me lean in and kiss her. "Aw Lena, I love me too." I snicker, getting up and running out of the car and going into the building while giggling.

Once inside, Maggie runs up to me in an excited tone.

"School's canceled, apparently Clark and James committed suicide together." She chuckles out. "Why is that so funny?"

"They did it because they have a gay forbidden love for each other, what a joke." She says while rolling her eyes.

"What's wrong with being gay? I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend. Love is love!"

"Also that's really rich coming from you Maggie. Remember 'Lovey Dovey Lexi'? You and Alex went around kissing all the girls on the kick ball field in the third grade. You guys got so close you kissed under Alex's tire swing at her house." I sneer.

"Whatever." She scoffs. "It was a joke, and that was years ago, no one cares about it." She says walking away while telling other people the news.

_Hypocrite._

Lena walks towards me with a smug look on her face.

"School is canceled, wait what are you do-" Lena stops me before I can finish and pulls me into a kiss.

She slams me into a locker and her hands start roaming up me.

I lean into it more, but every time I went forward she would go backwards.

_She's teasing me.._

Lena finally pulls away entirely, making me whine. "Hey Kara, now that school is canceled, do you want to go on a date? Get some good ol' fashion slurpees?"

I rolled my eyes and pouted, but eventually nodded my head slightly. She grabs my hand and we walked to her car happily.

When we got to 7-Eleven, the place was practically empty. The only one there was an employee and he was asleep on the counter.

"Why is it so quiet here?" I question. "Only Midvale High got out of school, plus people would rather go to the park or do croquet than go to 7-Eleven."

I shrugged. We walked to the back of the store where the slurpees were, and I poured the coke and piña colada flavors into my cup.

"Kara! Why are you mixing those two!?Those are the worst flavors combined!" She grimaced. "I wanted to try something new." I shrugged, taking a sip of the drink.

Lena looks at me wearily, making me roll my eyes.

_This is an interesting flavor..._

I felt a pout form on my face as I started to gag. I spit out the drink into the collecting platter, and wiped the drink from my mouth.

"I told you so. The association between this and Malibu and Coke, served via a dive-bar soda gun so mildewy it's almost inoperable, is inescapable. I would know, I am the slurpee master."

"Oh and who gave you that title?" I asked walking towards her slowly. She rolls her eyes and walks back over to the machine.

She pulls out another cup, and puts a lid on it. She pours the lemonade and cotton candy flavor into the cup and tops it off with a straw and hands me the drink.

"Ew, that sounds disgusting." I groan. She gives me a look, so I placed the straw in my mouth.

My eyes pop, as I continued sucking on the straw. "Kara, be careful you might get a-"

"Brain Freeze!" I yelped, clutching my head. After the chill melts away I look up at Lena who is still giggling.

"Okay, you win. It reminds me of the irresistibly intense flavor blast deployed by a tropical starburst!"

"That's one way of putting it." She laughs, bringing me into a kiss.

"Oy! Get outta my store with that!" The cashier yells, making us pull apart. I rolled my eyes and we went over to pay for the drinks.

"Try that sin again in my store and I'll call the cops on you, homos." He says angrily.

I stepped back slightly, making Lena put a hand on my shoulder, and we left the store without a word.

"I hate this!" I yelled while Lena was driving to her house. "I hate how people can refuse service or even call the police because of homosexuality. It's stupid!"

"It's the 80's Kara. There's always going to be hatred in this world. The best thing we can do is ignore it."

"No, we can stick up for our rights! No one should have to feel this way. I should be able to get married to any gender, but I can't, and that isn't fair."

"Well then Kara, keep trying. See how far it takes you when you land in jail for protesting homophobia. And stop crinkling, you know I'm right."

"No you're not. I believe one day in the future people are going to accept each other for being who they are. Whether they're black, white, straight, gay, male or female."

"Okay Kara, keep believing." She says while parking the car at her house.

"Why are you so doubtful?"

"Segregation only ended 25 years ago. And people are still hated for religion or color of skin. If they can't accept that, what makes you think they can accept this, us!"

"Hope."

Lena rolls her eyes, and walks out of the car as I followed behind her. She took her keys out of her purse and unlocked the door.

"I don't know if my brother is here, and frankly I don't want to. So we can stay down here."

I nodded and we sat down on the couch.

"Why are you so against your brother?"

"Half-brother, we have different moms. Lex has always been the golden child, which I'm not mad about. He used to be the best older brother there was. But then he turned out just like his mother. A white homophobic supremacist asshole."

"Oh."

We turned on the TV and James' and Clark's parents were saying that the school was invited to their funeral later this week.

Some people were cordially invited over the phone though, mainly their close friends. Meaning the football team, the remaining Supergirls and I.

"I feel like crap. They invited their murderers to their own funeral." I sulk. "You're still on about this Kara? They got what they deserved."

"No one deserves to die like that! They were seventeen, they still had room for growth."

"You said it yourself! They didn't have big futures ahead of them, you were right. They were most likely going to be gas station attendants! They're a waste of life."

"They could've gotten their acts together, had a revelation or something, they weren't a waste of life."

"Do you even hear yourself? They were scumbags. They were bullies and sexual harassers. I guarantee you weren't the only person they tried to hurt."

"Then we should have reported them, instead of killing them! Let the justice system handle them."

"Kara, we both know that won't do shit. Their parents are lawyers, and they'd have them out in a heartbeat."

"There are still other ways-"

"They tried to rape you, they humiliated you! Did they make you cry?" She yells out, making me turn away from her.

"Kara, did they make you cry?"

"Yes." I mutter, quietly. "Can they make you cry anymore?" She asks, making tears form in my eyes.

"No, but you can." I say, as she grabs my shoulder and turns me around. "Wait until you see the good that comes from this-"

"What good could possibly come from this!" I yell back, making her step away from me.

"Call me an optimist." She shrugs. "I need a break, I can't do this!" I sigh, walking towards the door.

"What do you mean, you can't do this." She asks desperately. "I'm not breaking up with you, I just need time. And you seriously need to see the good from bad." I say opening her door and walking out.

"Kara, at least let me drive you home. It's raining now." She tries.

"I'm fine walking home." I say stubbornly. "It's pouring outside, I'm not going to let you walk a mile home in the rain. And I'm not taking no for an answer." She sighs, grabbing her keys off of the coffee table.

We walk towards the car and got in together. I turn and faced the window, and we stay silent for the ride home.

*******

The day of the funeral was interesting. The Supergirls and I got there early as the parents asked.

We talked about James and Clark for an hour, until it's time to go inside the church. I gave all four parents a hug before going to sit in the pew three rows back.

After fifteen minutes the whole place was packed, more people were here than for Sam, and a lot of people were there.

"Seems like they're more famous when they're dead." A voice says above me, making me roll my eyes.

Lena sits down besides me, and wraps her arm around my waist. I take her arm off of me and crossed my arms.

"I've been noticing a distinct lack of girls climbing in my bedroom window." She says while nudging me. "Take a hint." I say while turning to face the front as the funeral was now starting.

"Oh come on, you've been ignoring me for 4 days now." She whispers.

"Please, can we talk?" She asks, puffing out her bottom lip. People look over and shushed us.

I rolled my eyes. "Wait until they service is over." And she leaves me alone like that.

********

_So that funeral was way more interesting than I thought it was going to be. Clark's dad was speaking to everyone about how terrible Clark and James were. How they were "pansies," James' dad agrees but tells everyone homosexuality is okay. He also admits to everyone that him and Clark's dad are actually having secret flings when they go on fishing trips! Their wives were livid, and they two men then go on to say how much they love their dead gay sons. Then the two men had a make out session on the stands!_

_It was wild._

After the funeral, I tried to sneak away without Lena noticing me, but I failed.

We go in her car to my house, really not feeling like being there with her brother.

We got in the house and greeted my mom. She smiles, knowing I had a date.

My mom tells the two of us that her and dad are going out, while winking at me. My dad was very confused, but he left the house even though I constantly tried to make her stop.

Once they left and were completely gone, Lena comes up from behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, kissing my shoulder.

"What's that I smell in the air? Tolerance? Conclusion? Definitely love? Now how often can you say it's a good day to live in the small town of Midvale? You're welcome sweetheart." She says while pressing a kiss to my head.

I pushed her off of me. "You don't have to be so smug about it."

"Your love keeps me humble." She smiles.

"So who's next, Maggie Sawyer? We've been getting close lately. She even gave me her copy of Moby Dick, I've been underlining meaningful passages in it. I mean, she hurt you too! She was the one that started the three-way rumor in the first places." She suggests.

"No, don't you get it? Three is enough! The murdering ends now!" I say stressfully.

"Or what?" She tries.

"I'll break up with you." She pauses.

"Look, any war has casualties, but it doesn't mean it's not worth fighting!" She tries, making me turn away from her. "Or what? You'd rather go to jail, and give a free pass to the thugs who hurt people? Evil pricks who make this world so unbearable you can't stand to go on living!" She yells.

I paused. "Lena, how did your mother die?" I ask softly, still facing away from her.

I hear her walk a little farther away which makes me turn around. She's not facing me anymore.

"You really want to know?" She mutters. "Yeah, I do." I say firmly.

"My dad said it was an accident, but she knew what she was doing." She starts. "She walked into that building two minutes before dad blew it up! She waved at me out the window and then **BOOM**."

"She left me." She says brokenly. I walk towards her. "I'm sorry." I say placing a hand on her back. "Don't be." She immediately says while turning around.

"The pain gives me clarity." She chuckles lightly.

"Kara we have a lot of work to do." She says while smirking.

"What work?" I asked, really not wanting an answer. "Making a decent place for decent people."

"And when does it end!" I ask her angrily. "When every asshole is dead!" She yells making me scream angrily.

We both turn around facing opposite directions, taking a breath.

"We're not gods, Lena! We're not special, we're not supposed to choose who lives or dies." I say while turning to face her.

"Can't we just be normal seventeen year olds, for once? Watch some bad movies, eat chilly fries, sneak a beer or go camping, I don't know? But, don't you want a life with me?" I ask desperately.

"Of course I do!" She says quickly, while turning to face me. "I choose you, I'll choose you every time Kara."

"Then stop!" I yell. "Please Lena, just stop. I-I lov.. I really like you, so much, too much." I say. She looks at me tears in her eyes, and pulls me into a hug.

"I love you so much, Kara I just want you to know that." She says pulling me into a kiss.

"I know we're damaged, but your love is too good to lose. I can't loose you." She says finally letting go of me. "And you won't." I confirm.

Her phone starts ringing and she checks to see it's her dad.

"I have to go." She smiles. I wave at her, and she waves back, before leaving the house.

"And they all lived happily ever after." Sam say rolling her eyes, while appearing on my couch.

"Do you really believe her? Do you think this'll all go back to normal?" She pauses. "Oh don't you even give me that wounded look. You know exactly what she is, and you love it."

"Just stop talking!" I yell.

"Leave it to your dead best friend to tell it straight." She smirks.

The doorbell rings, knowing it was probably Lena I walk over and open it, but to my surprise it's Winn.

"Hey Winn, what is it?" I ask him awkwardly. "I need to talk to you, can I come inside?" He asks looking a bit paranoid. "Yeah, um sure."

"Wait, Lena isn't in there, right?" He asks wearily. I shake my head no, and I let him inside.

"I think James and Clark were murdered." He says bluntly as I closed the door.

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw." Sam smirks. "Looks like Nancy Drew is onto you, Kara."

"Winn, why would you even think that? They found a suicide note."

"It could've been faked! I mean, you forge stuff all the time!" He explains.

"I am in love with this anorexic bitch." Sam sighs.

_I really hate Sam. She really knows how to toy with me. During high school Winn starved himself because everyone started calling him a fatty._

"Who'd want to kill James and Clark?" I say snapping out of my thoughts, noticing two almost naked bodies come into my peripheral vision.

"I was thinking your friend Lena, don't you remember the way she went off on them in the lunch room!" He says frantically.

"Yeah, I remember that." Clark says randomly.

"Kara is going to go to lady prison." James laughs. "Girl on girl, punch it in!" Clark adds while they fist bumped.

"I wanted to look in Lena's locker, I was hoping you could give me the combination." He says while combing the fingers through his hair.

"Oh, I'd bet they'd find a lot of interesting things in that locker, like ich lüge bullets?" Sam smirks.

"Winn, that is a pretty crazy theory." I shrug, making him turn away.

"I don't care about what they said at the funeral. James was not gay for Clark. I'd stake my life on it."

"Ha, James is a fatty magnet!" Clark laughs. "Yeah, well I'm not the one who died while wearing heart boxers!" James snickers. They both started play fighting loudly.

"Stop it!" I yell angrily at them. "Stop what? Kara, what's wrong with you?" He asks worriedly.

"I'm just trying to understand, James was gay for Clark, why would you think anything else?" I ask while the two boys fade away.

"Because he kissed me, on the football field, remember?" He smiles. "Yeah, in Kindergarten."

"My heart knows the truth."

"It's time to choose Kara. Eat or be eaten." Sam says.

"Why would he invite me to his homecoming party if he didn't have feelings for me?" He adds.

"You know what you have to say." Sam says deviously.

"Why would he write me that note? I'm going to confront Lena." He says firmly.

"No!"

"Do you have what it takes?" Sam yells.

I look back at her as she crosses her arms nonchalantly, as I start to laugh

"Oh Winn, James didn't write you that note, I did." I smirk.

"What? No."

"Yeah, the whole school was in on the joke. The Supergirls put me up to it." I add while placing my hands on my hips.

"Nobody laughed harder than James. He didn't love you. He was a dick. He's dead, move on." I say making a straight face. It didn't help that Sam was smirking like a Cheshire Cat.

I give him a cold stare as he weakens under my gaze. I see tears form in his eyes and he runs out of my house, crying.

_Shit, shit!_

_I had to hurt him, if Lena found him snooping around her stuff she'd-_

"Kill him?" She interrupts while looking over my diary. "Is that what you're afraid of? But I thought the desperado hung up her six guns. You don't trust her."

_I'm sorry Winn, I'm so sorry._

_~Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Have a good day lovelies! You deserve all of the potstickers in the world!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You don't deserve to live. Why not kill yourself? Here have a sedative."

_Dear Diary,_

_Mrs. In-Ze managed to get a very popular news station in Midvale to come and film our school assembly about suicide awareness. She asked me and a few other students to help set up the gym, before the camera crew got here._

_I got to skip class so I'm not really complaining._

_Also, there was no murdering this week! Lena was right, I think she can actually do this!_

After getting set up, the principal calls all seniors down to the gym for the assembly. And we all got seated on the pews.

_I feel like I never mentioned how big my school and Midvale actually are. There are about 50-75 students per grade. So this assembly was a very quiet and small._

"Alright Midvale, are you guys ready!" Mrs. In-Ze yells into the crowd of teens. No one responds, but hey a kid coughed, if that counts. "Oh come on guys, I know you have more Midvale spirit than that. Now are you ready Midvale!" She yells again, and more kids started cheering her on, trying to humor her out.

"Okay you guys, I want you to ignore the television cameras around here and their crew. They are here to document this specific moment." She says to us, but then turns to face the cameras.

"Whether to kill yourself or not can be the most important decision a teenager can make."

_It's not only teenagers, anyone can commit suicide._

"I know it's hard. But do you know what I'm going to do right now?" She asks the camera.

"Kill yourself on stage?" A kid yells out making everyone giggle, as she turns around.

"No, that is not productive in any way. When I was in high school I did my senior thesis on pediatric psychotherapy. I know that the first step to making suicide awareness is to make a safe space. One in which we're all equal!" She smiles.

"You guys, we all have the deep guilt, shame and regret! But the best the you can do is shine a light on it! Shine that light on your deepest fear and it'll disappear!" She says proudly.

Kids start coming down to talk about how shining a light on your burdens can help teens. By creating a safe place between us.

And she probably payed those kids to say that.

I mean, it's true. But there's so much more to.

"Alrighty guys, who wants to start?" She asks the rowdy crowd, although no one responds.

"Alright, I'll go first. My name is Astra, my husband left me and my kids are all grown up, and I live alone. I miss the 60's when love was free, but it is not like that anymore. I ended up joining a cult called Myriad and dyed off my hair. I tried making a dent in the world but it never happened. I've cleaned up my act since then, except for one thing. Maxwell, I'm ending our affair! I don't love you, I faked it every single time! And it felt fantastic!" She yells out making the gym go quiet for a few moments. Before they all erupt into claps and cheers.

_Am I the only one that's really confused by what she said because I totally don't get what she meant._

I looked over to Lena who is totally into this. She is clapping and cheering Mrs. In-Ze on. She looks genuinely happy, and it's so adorable.

The news people start playing the popular song Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It by Big Fun and kids start running in the gym with bubbles.

"It's okay for everyone to share, this is a safe place!" Mrs. In-Ze well, Ms. In-Ze yells out into the cheering blissful crowd.

_Is it just me or does this totally not paint the picture of suicide awareness?_

Kids start getting up and dancing around the gym with their friends a few people got up and shared stories loudly and proud.

There were things like, "I'm okay but I was sad two years ago because my boyfriend called another girl hot." And nothing too serious, and everyone cheered the other people on when they did

People partied more and more, the camera crew was loving all of this content. Lena even grabbed my hand and we went up to dance too!

"I've thought about killing myself!" Someone screams, making everything come to a holt. The music turned off and bubbles stopped going, until everyone was focused on the person who screamed it.

It was Alex.

"What the hell are you doing?" Maggie seethes.

"No, don't stop Alexandra. You're in a safe place." She smiles. "It's just me, you and the classmates who love you so much. Go on, share." She smiles, nudging Alex into the center of the gym.

Alex shifts a little bit, uncomfortable with all of the attention, cameras zooming towards her.

"Alex go back to your seat." Maggie commands, making Ms. In-Ze tell her to zip it.

"My sort of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker. My best friend seemed to have it together but, she's gone too. And I-I have a crush on Maggie!" She breathes out get shaky. People's face start to harden after she said the last statement.

Alex looks around nervously before continuing. "Now my stomach is hurting worse and worse, and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating louder and faster and I'm like Jesus I'm on the freaking bus again because all my rides to school are dead!"

"It feels like I'm in a lifeboat during a storm. The raft isn't big enough to hold everyone so someone must go. People around me are fighting and the storms are coming so quickly. And if I say the wrong thing or I wear the wrong outfit they'll throw me right over the side. The captain is the one decides the weakest must go, but who made her captain anyways! It makes me want to hug my knees and I just wish this was all over!"

She's breathing heavily and tears are forming in her eyes. When she blinks them away, almost everyone in the gym was staring at her coldly.

"What's your damage Alex? Are you saying that Midvale isn't a nice place?" While Maggie is saying this Mrs. In-Ze is trying to get her to be quiet. "Where's your school spirit Alex? You don't deserve to wear our school's colors." She adds. "Don't be mean spirited." I hear Ms. In-Ze get out.

"Honestly Alex, why don't you get on your little dyke lifeboat and crash!"

Tears are freely pouring down Alex's face now. People are watching and starting to snicker.

"Aw look, Alex is crying!" A girl calls out which makes the kids awe in a mocking manor while pretending to cry.

Alex grabs her bag and bolts out of the gym while crying.

"Maggie Sawyer, you are suspended!" Ms. In-Ze yells making Maggie scoff and roll her eyes. "Turn the cameras off, turn them off!" Mrs. In-Ze yells, trying to get them to cut.

I can't do this anymore.

"Is this all you care about, TV cameras!" I yell, while walking up to her. "I care about saving lives, Kara. Margaret Sawyer has ruined a valuable-"

"Valuable? No one wants this spectacle! To be experimented on like guinea pig, patronized as bunny rabbits!" I yell angrily, Lena starting to try to pull me back by the hand.

"I do not patronize bunny rabbits!" She yells back.

"This is the big secret Kara, the adults are powerless." Sam says behind me.

"Alex trusted you, you said you would protect her!" I yell back, letting my hand go of Lena's grasp.

"They can't help us. Nobody can." Sam sighs.

"You're useless." I say to her face.

After a few moments, Ms. In-Ze starts to falter. And runs out of the gym with tears brimming her eyes.

"We're alone in this great sea, Kara." Sam states.

"You're all idiots!" I yell at them, making Lena try to grab me by the waist and pull me back.

"Kara, maybe you should sit, now."

"No, let go of me!" I yell while struggling, but she doesn't let go. "Sam Arias was a monster just like James and Clark! And they didn't kill themselves, I did!" I scream out.

_Oh my gosh, did I just confess to three murders?_

_In front of every single senior._

Lena finally let's go of me and steps back. "What do you think about that?" I ask them awkwardly.

People continued to stare until Maggie spoke up.

"Some people will say anything if they think it'll make them popular." She laughs, the whole grade joining in.

I start to run out of the gym, not looking back when Lena calls out my name.

 _*********_  
As I was walking down the halls, collecting my cool, I hear crying. "Stupid childproof caps!" A feminine voice yells.

_Holy, is that Alex?_

I run to where I hear the struggling voice, and it leads me to the bathroom. I kick open the locked door, and run over to Alex, seeing an empty pill bottle in her hand. She looks back at me and drops to the floor with tears in her eyes.

I crouch down next to her, and held out my hand, making her give me the pill bottle. I held out my hand again so she can spit the pills out, but she pushes it away.

"Suicide is a private thing." She murmurs with a mouth full of pills.

"Throwing your life away to be a statistic in U.S.A today, is the least private thing I could think of." I reply. "But what about Sam, and Clark and James?" She asks softly.

"If everyone jumped off a bridge Alex, would you?" I ask.

"Probably." She whimpers. "That sounds like fun." She defends.

"Well, if you were happy all the time, you wouldn't be human, you'd be a game show host." I smile lightly.

Alex breathes for a moment and spits out all of the pills into her hands. "Thanks for coming after me." She smiles, pulling me into a hug.

"Anytime." I smile.

She gets up and puts the pills into the bottle. Then throws them into the trash can. She looks back at me and waves, walking out of the bathroom, heading home. I guess I should join her, school is over.

I start to get up off of the floors as Lena walked in, she looked into the trash can to see a full bottle of pills.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to my place?" She asks gently, so I nodded and followed her out.

*******

Once we got into her house, we went up to her room, but she leaves the door open.

She smiles and starts clapping, making me shift uncomfortably.

"You're a genius. You know, you had me worried there with your little confession but you pulled it off. Best place to hide is in plane sight." She says happily.

"I wasn't trying to hide."

"And why'd you have to go and mess with Danvers, one more less Supergirl makes the world a better place."

"She's my friend." I say firmly.

"Okay, if she is such a good friend, then why let Sawyer live? The bitch who made her want to die in the first place, nothing ever changes!"

"We're out of the change business!" I yell over her. "But doesn't it bother you that Sawyer runs free?" She adds.

"You promised me, remember? I'm holding you to it!" I yell, over her voice. We continued to argue, but soon my voice gets drowned out in her own voice trying to justify wanting to kill Maggie.

"Lena, don't talk over me! You promised." I whimper out.

"Gee dad, ever think about knocking? I was too busy playing grab ass with my girlfriend." Lena's dad says entering the room. "Sweetheart, you know the rules, when company is over, the bedroom door stays open."

He rolls his eyes. "Alright, so the judge, God bless him, told the Glenn Miller groupies to slurp shit and die. You should have seen the fireworks, I got it here on tape." He chuckles while holding up a VHS tape.

"Loaded the upper floors with thermals and set the whole thing off with a Norwegian in the boiler room, boom!" He yells while moving his hands. "Be right back, I'm gonna need my drawstring pants for this one." He laughs, while making his way towards the door.

Out of no where, Lena pulls out a gun and shoots a blank at the ceiling, making both her dad and I jump. Lena's dad turns around to face her. "Damnit Lena, no fire arms in the house!" He yells, while walking out the door, making Lena laugh.

"Why do you have a gun?" I pratically yell, when Lena's dad closes his room door. "To piss my dad off, it's funny." She laughs.

"It's not funny."

"None of this is funny! Why are you carrying a gun, you promised me!" I yell. "Hey, it's a dangerous world." She smirks while twirling the gun around her finger.

"Because of poeple like you."

"Don't call me, don't talk to me. You don't know right from wrong. We're over." I say while turning towards the door.

"Come on Kara, come back!" She pleads. "Over." I yell while running downstars, hearing Lena call after me.

As I was about to leave through the front door, Lena calls my name out again.

"Kara, please don't  leave! I love you!" She says tears forming in her eyes, while her gun is pointed at me. I breathe heavily and she lowers it.

"Goodbye Lena." I say, slamming the door.

*********

"I now know thee thou clear spirit." A voice says. I look over my locker to see who's talking.

"Ah, so you have been reading the book." The other girl replies. "I find Moby Dick quite fascinating." She says while holding something out.

"What's in the envelope?" The girl asks curiously. "Oh, you're going to want to see it." She smirks.

The girl snatched the note, and grabs the prices of paper inside, taking a long look. "Oh, shit."

"Just a tangible reminder that at one point around age 6 I'm guessing, you and Winn Schott were friends." She smirks.

"Where did you get these? Did Kara give them to you?" She pauses. "What do you want, money? I can give you a weeks work of lunch money at best."

"I want, a favor." She smirks. "No way." The girl refuses.

"You know I really like that picture of you, Winn, James and Alex in the bathtub."

"You know these photos are ancient history. Nobody cares about the past, just like nobody cares about Winslow Shithead." Maggie says, dropping the photos on the ground and waltzing away.

Lena looks back to see me watching them in the halls by her locker. She looks at the photos on the floor, then walks away while sighing.

I walked over to the picture and picks it up, slightly smiling at the fond memory.

_I remember that boy I met in Kindergarten. He was sweet and called me smart. He was good at sports and people loved him. And at nap time once, we shared a mat._

_I didn't go to sleep, I just watched him dream for about half an hour._

_Then he woke up._

I picked up the photo and hugged it to my chest. I walked out of the school and walked to my car, then started driving.

_One time we were on the kickball field and he picked off a scab, kissed me quickly and placed it in my hands. I put that scab in a heart locket, and wore it near my heart for the rest of the year._   
_He didn't care if I was thin or pretty and he was mine till we hit first grade._

_Then he woke up._

_Last night, I dreamed a Pegasus flew down into my home room. On his back, was James in all his glory and he held out his arms. So we sailed above the gym, above the faculty parking lot, my Kindergarten boyfriend and I._

I parked my car on the side of the road and got out, while starting to walk to the Old Mill bridge.

_Now we're all grown up and we know better. Now we recognize the way things are._

_Certain boys are just for Kindergarten, certain boys are meant to be alone.._

I looked out from the bridge, and started climbing on it. I looked out at the seagulls, flying freely, while tears formed in my eyes.

_But I believe any dream worth having, is a dream that shouldn't have to end. So I'll build a dream that I can live in._

_And this time I'm never waking up._

I pulled the locket out of my shirt and held it closely.

_We'll soar above the trees, over cars and croquet lawns. Pass the church and the lake and the tri-county mall. And we'll fly to the dawn of a new kindergarten!_

_Where nap time is centuries long._

_~Winslow Schott_

I ripped the note out of my journal..

And jumped.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your posticker stash is behind the fridge! I'm gonna go hide now, hehe...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You were meant to be mine, I am all that you need. You carved open my heart, can't just leave me to bleed!"

_Dear Diary,_

_Lena has been staying away. All is great I guess. Alex and I got really close, we hang out with each other a lot now. We're practically sisters!_

"I missed you guys during 8th period." Maggie says while walking up to Alex and I.

"Yeah, we were avoiding you." I say bluntly.

"What you did to me sucked." Alex adds.

"I actually need to talk to you about that later. Anyways, I'll get straight to the point. Sign this." Maggie says while handing us a clipboard.

"What is this?" I asks while the both of us look for a page without signatures. "It's a petition to have Big Fun play at the fall formal, mainly to play the song Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It, I got the whole school to sign it. People love me!"

"People love you, but I know you. Susan Vasquez told me the petition she signed was to put a hot tub in the cafeteria."

"Some people need different forms of persuasion. Just sign the petition, OK?" She replies back rolling her eyes.

"Hey, don't talks to her that way!" Alex says sticking up for me.

"Why are you guys pulling on my dick? Look, it was Lena's idea. She made out the signature sheet and everything, so why don't you just sign it."

"No, and if you know what's good for you you'll throw that clipboard away." I warn.

"Not a chance, I'll just fake you signatures like I did with Winslow Shithead. He's in no shape to sign after what happened last night." She smirks, while trying not to chuckle. "What happened last night?" Alex asks.

"It was on the radio last night. Winslow Shithead took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note."

_It took me a few moments to process those words._

"Is he dead?" I ask shakily. "Barely, honestly, it's just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably."

_Winn, I'm so sorry.._

The final bell rings, and I run out of the halls, and out the door, starting to run to my house. Not wanting to have a panic attack on the school bus, even though it'll take me until night to get there.

_********_

I slammed open the hospital door and ran to reception.

"Do you have a patient here, by the name of Winslow Schott?"

The receptionist clicks away on her computer for a moment.

"His mother specifically said she wanted no one to come visit him." She says blankly. "Tell his mother it's Kara Zorel, I'm his best friend!"

She rolls her eyes and calls the room. She starts talking on the phone, while I tapped my foot nervously.

"She said it's fine, visiting hours are almost over though. He's on floor 3 in room 122."

I nod, and ran into the elevator. I pressed floor 3, and waited for the elevator door to close.

When I got on the floor, I saw his mom waiting outside his room door.

I ran up to her and she pulled me into a hug.

"How bad is it." I ask hesitantly. "He's holding on. He's not stable, we're not in the clear yet."

"Can I go in and see him?" I asked, while biting my lip nervously. His mom nods, and I quietly opened it.

The blinds in the room where closed and he was hooked up to a bunch of machines. His vitals were all over the place, and he is attached to some breathing tubes.

"Are you feeling it, Kara? Winn isn't looking too well, he might actually die. You did this to him, you're just as bad as I am."

"Shut up Sam." I whimper out, while placing my hand over my mouth.

"You've earned the red scrunchie." Sam smirks.

The machines start beeping faster and faster. Doctors ran in and tried to pull me out.

The machine stopped beeping, and it started flat lining.

"Winn, I'm so sorry.." I stutter, while tears form in my eyes and doctors lugged me out of the room, and they were trying to shock his chest.

"Come join me in hell, Kara." Sam smiles wickedly.

I look over to his mom, who's sobbing in the chair outside his room.

She looks up at me. "Kara, go home, now." She commands, as I went back to the elevator.

I ran out of the hospital and towards my house.

*********

I opened the door and my parents practically throw themselves onto me pulling me into a tight hug.

After a few moments my mom finally pulls away. "Where have you been, we've been worried sick! Your friend Lena stopped by, she told us everything."

"Everything?" I ask wearily. "Your depression, and your thoughts of suicide. Especially now that Winn is hanging on by a thread." My dad says joining in.

"He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!" My mom cries out, handing me the book.

"She's got your handwriting down cold." Sam smirks.

"Kara, please. Just talk to us." She tries.

"No, no! You wouldn't understand, no one would!" I say desperately while skimming through the pages.

"Try me! I've been through everything you're going through right now! I know how it feels."

Clark, James and Sam are now behind me whispering my name.

"It feels like you're alone, your problems seem like life and death, but I promise they're not!"

They start to get louder and louder getting closer and closer.

"You don't know what my world looks like!" I yell, tears forming in my eyes, as I give them the book back and pushed past them.

I try to go up the stairs but my dad grabs my wrist and my parents try to reason with me.

I snatched my wrist back, and continued to run up the stairs and slammed my door, locking it behind me.

"Thought you could get away that easily sweetheart." Sam says with a nonchalant face, appearing on my bed.

I hear a noise coming from my window and look over to see Lena picking my lock.

"Times up Kara, go say your prayers." Sam smirks.

I slowly step back and find the closest weapon nearby, which happens to be an curtain rod and ran into my closet locking it behind me

"Knock, knock! Sorry for coming in through you window, dreadful adequate, I know." She exclaims while entering my room.

"Get out of my house!" I yell, which makes her come towards the doors and try to open it. "Hiding in the closet I see, come on and unlock it Kara!" She says playfully.

"Lena, I'll scream and my parents will call the police!" I warn shakily.

"Oh Kara, all is forgiven baby! Come out get dressed you're my date to the pep rally tonight!"

"You should come out and see what our classmates really signed! Alright listen to this."

"We the students of Midvale High, will die! Our burnt bodies may finally get through, to you. Your society churns out slave and blanks, no thanks. Signed the students of Midvale High, goodbye."

"It's not very subtle but neither is blowing up a high school, now is it? When our school blows up tonight, it'll be the kind of thing to effect our generation. I mean, it's going to be a Woodstock for the 80's!"

_I've created a monster, I can't, I won't let her do this._

I look around in the closet for something I can use. I find a white long cloth and started tying it around my neck.

"Now ultimately, I came here to get you back. I miss you Kara. If you come out we can watch the fire from a far. We can toast marshmallows and make s'mores from it, you know, be seventeen!" She says patiently.

"Kara, we're meant to be together! You were meant to be mine, I am all that you want! You carved open my hearts and you can't just leave me to bleed, Kara!" She says getting angrier.

"Kara open the door please. We don't have to fight! I know you're scared, I've been there, but our love can set each other free!" She says desperately.

"Kara! Open the fucking door!"

_It's now or never.._

"I'm going to count to three, Kara." I hear her start counting, getting angrier by the number. After she says two, she screams fuck it, and smashes open the closet door with her foot.

She runs over to see me, and pauses. I hear her drop to her knees and all was silent.

I hear her sniffling after a few moments.

"Kara, no.." She says in a broken voice, making my heart clench. "Please, no. You can't leave me alone! You were the only thing I could trust in this broken world."

I feel her grab my hand and kiss it.

"I can't stop this, it's because of that awful high school! They infected you. The world infected them."

"I can't do this alone."

_Thank goodness.._

"But still, I will if I must."

I hear my door being rustled with so Lena bolts out of my window and closes it before someone can open the door.

Someone walks into my room and makes their way over to the closet slowly. "Kara! I brought you a snack! Kara?" Before she can finish she lets out a loud shriek, and drops to the floor, the food long gone.

I lift up my head after hearing her scream, and untied the white cloth on my neck and crouch down to the floor.

"Oh my god, it's a joke! I'm so sorry!" I try but she can't stop screaming. I keep saying that over and over again until we're both yelling.

After about ten more seconds, she stops screaming which makes me stop, and puts a hand to her chest, while breathing heavily.

"That's not funny!" She finally gets out.

"What's going on up here?" My dad asks while walking into the room with his spy novel.

"Mom, dad, I am so sorry." I say awkwardly. "Sorry for what?" He asks confusedly. "For being a horrible person." I say while walking out of my closet towards my door.

"What? Kara, where are you going?" My mom questions.

"Out."

"When will you be back?" My dad asks. "That's a good question."

They look at each other as I walk out of my room and out of my house.

_I wanted a caring and normal girlfriend, who I could be seventeen with. But instead I got Lena and I let her anger fester and infect me._

_Her solutions were all a false. Clark, James and Sam didn't deserve to die because of me, yes they were assholes but they could've changed._

_No one at that school deserves to die_ _like_ _Clark, James and Sam._

_Except for me and that monster I created._

_So, heads up Lena-_

_I'm a dead girl walking._

_~ Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, one more chapter, and you guys should prepare. Have some potstickers, and peace out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hey yo, Westerberg! Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerberg, comin' to put you in the ground! Go, go Westerberg! Give a great big yell, Westerberg will knock you out and send you straight to hell!"

_Dear Diary,_

_Everyone in my school could die because of me. I'm going to keep that in mind every time I think of dating a really cool and edgy chick._

_But I will stop Lena, even if it kills me.(Which I wouldn't mind at this point.)_

I run into the school, and the bell rings. Why the bells are ringing at night time, I don't know.

I hear the roars of students stomping and clapping in the gym. The entire school is here, including faculty.

_I have to find Lena, and fast._

After roaming around the school for a bit, I made my way into the gym and looked around.

There are cheerleaders tumbling, and our mascot is dancing. I see Alex on top of the center pyramid and Maggie on the other side of the gym preparing to give her speech.

All of the students are going wild in their seats, making it really hard to find Lena in the mixture of teens.

But not really because none of the kids wear black trench coats, so she's probably not in here.

Where could a student hide a bomb in the school without being detected?

Someone taps on my shoulder from behind making me spin around.

"Kara? I thought you were dead! Lena Luthor just told me you committed suicide!"

"Yeah, well she's wrong about a lot of things."

"And I put together a lovely tribute too, especially considering the short notice." Ms. In-Ze states frustratedly while pointing over to the back corner of the gym.

It looks like a weird shrine. There's an awkward year book photo of me from last year with wilted flowers all around it and candles on both sides of the picture. Above it there's a sign that say Congrats, you're a graduate, but with a graduate crossed out and dead put in place, so it says Congrats, you're Dead.

_Touching._

I look at her weirdly and she shrugs. "Anyways, Ms. In-Ze, what's under the gym?" I ask curiously.

"The boiler room, but why do you need to know, Kara what's going on?"

_Boiler room, boiler room. That sounds famili- Norwegian in the boiler room!_

_Wow, Lena's dad actually said something useful, and here I was starting to loose hope._

"Sorry Ms. In-Ze, got no time to talk!" I yell, running out the gym and opening the boiler room door. I ran down the steps to see Lena putting the last touches to the wiring.

"Step away from the bomb." I command, making her start laughing quietly to herself.

"And here I thought you lost your taste for faking suicides." She chuckles, while still wiring the bomb.

"You heard me Lena! Step away from the bomb!" I say in an angrier voice.

"This little thing? I'd hardly call it a bomb." She chuckles. "No, this is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym, those are bombs."

"People are going to see the ashes of Midvale high school and they're going to think; There's a school that self destructed, not because society didn't care but because that school was society!" She yells angrily, pulling out a gun in his pocket and starting to wave it around while talking.

"The only place that Winn's and Sam's can get along is in Heaven!" She exclaims while pointing the gun straight at me.

I slowly start to walk forward "Lena, I wish you mom could have stuck around longer. I wish your dad, and grownups could understand our pain! And I wish we could've met an earlier, before people convinced you that life is war! It's to late for that, but it's not too late for this."

" You can still come with me, Lena! You can forget this crazy plan, we can be seventeen together!" I plead, going in front of her, and putting her gun on my heart while she breathes heavily.

"Kara, want to know what I wish?" She pauses.

"I wish I had more TNT."

I grunt angrily and tried to grab the gun out of her hand. "Give me the gun!" I scream.

We both have our grips on the gun, and we started wrestling for it back and forth. The gun slips out of our hands, and it slides to the floor on the other side of the room.

I ran towards it first but Lena yanked me by the hair and pulled me back, getting closer. I run and tackle her from behind but she rolls over and stands up. She pulls me up as well, pushing me to a wall as she starts to kiss me.

I tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let go, so I kicked her in the groin, making her hold it in pain while I ran and grabbed the gun.

As I was grabbing it, she ran and covered herself behind a bunch of metal cabinets in the room.

I slowly got up and walked around, I looked over the corners of the cabinets one by one. Each time I looked around the corner my heart pounded. I kept going until I got to the last one. I looked behind the corner to see her standing there with a knife pointed towards me, making me immediately hold out my gun towards her.

"You think just because you started something, you can end it?" She breathes out. "Lena, I'll kill you, I'll fucking kill you! I swear."

"How do I turn off the bomb you goddamn asshole!" I yell angrily. "It's over Lee!"

"You can't." She laughs, as I pulled the trigger shooting her hand.

Blood gushes out of it making her hiss, and drop to the ground holding it. She finds a dirty cloth on the floor and puts pressure on her hand, making the blood stop.

"You want a clean slate just as much as I do Kara."

_What?_

"I'm killing everyone because nobody else loves me! You did, or at least I thought you did."

"Lena, which button do I press to turn it off?"

"Try the red button." She says grudgingly, while breathing heavily. I look over to the device to see three bright red buttons below the timer.

"Which red button?" I asks angrily. "Which one!"

She pauses thinking of the options. "Press the middle one, if that's what you really want."

"You wanna know what I really want babe?" I ask, knowing she's lying. "What?" She yells angrily, standing up and trying to throw her knife at me. I tried to shoot it out of her hand but I miss completely, hitting her in the side of her stomach.

She hits the knife in the center of the detonator and I shot it, making it power off.

I look over to see Lena collapsing onto the floor, her blood everywhere. I run over to her and kneeled down next to her.

"I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean to hit you. Please don't, I was lying about wanting to kill you, you know it was for dramatic effect and-"

"You always were a bad shot." She chuckles out, interrupting my rambling. "I wasn't good enough for you anyways. I did this too myself. Leave me Kara."

"No! I can't, I won't." She pulls me into a kiss, and I kiss back. "I'm serious Kara, I don't want for you to have to see me dead. For me?" She gasps out. Before I could get up, she held my hand telling me to wait.

She grabs something off of her neck. "It was my mother's necklace. She gave it to me before she died, I want you to have it." She smiles. I take it out of her hands and wrapped it around my neck.

I took the detonator off of the wall and threw it in the trash can nearby.

I stood up and waved to her one final time. She waves back and I made my way towards the stairs.

I look at her on the floor one last time and walked up the stairs. I go into the gym to see the whole school cheering each other on, making me smile.

I exited the school and started walking down the steps. Another door opens behind me and I turn around to see Lena limping out of the building.

"You got me good, Kara." She chuckles out, but gasps in pain. "Turns out I didn't die after you left." She says grasping onto the railing to keep herself from falling.

"Why didn't you stay down there then! I was about to call an ambulance!"

I watch her open her trench coat to see a bomb strapped to her side. She presses the middle button and the timer goes to 45 seconds.

_This isn't the time or place but, at least I was right.._

"No." I gasp, tears forming in my eyes eyes. "I'm starting a clean slate."

She walks down and starts making her way into an empty section in the parking lot and I followed behind her.

"Lena, you don't have to do this, please don't do this."

"But I do, Kara. I'm damaged, far too damaged. But you're not beyond repair. Stick around here Kara and make things better."

I run up to her and I kissed her again. "Please step back Kara!" She says pulling away. "I don't know what this thing will do." I listened to her, and got far away enough.

She had 10 seconds on the clock. "Our love is god." She smiles.

"Lena, I love you! I should have said it earlier and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I love you so much!" I cry out.

She smiles. "That's all I've wanted out of life."

"I love you too." She chuckles out while waving goodbye one last time. She wraps her body around the bomb and it explodes.

Bright colors of white and yellow appear, making me shield my eyes.

Then, everything goes dark.

*********

"Kara? Kara!" Someone yells, as I shield my eyes from a bright light. "Are you okay?"

I open my eyes to see a bright flashlight shining on my face  as I felt someone's body wrap around mine.

"Where have you been! Everyone was saying you committed suicide, then we all heard an explosion outside and I found you on the ground unconscious!" Alex says while pulling away from the hug..

"You look like hell." Maggie says while crouching down next to us.

"I just got back." I reply grabbing her hair and taking off Sam's red scrunchie.

"What the hell are you doing!" She yells as I move over and made her lean in and kiss Alex. Surprisingly, they both don't stop.

I wrap the red scrunchie around my hair, then stood up, while people were gathering around.

"Listen up folks! There's a new sheriff in town." I yell. "I am tired of us acting evil, we are laying our weapons down, now!"

I hear a horn honking and look over to see a wheel chair get lifted out of a car, with Winn on it.

I smile and ran over to him, pulling him into a gentle hug. He pulls away from it slightly.

"I'm so sorry Winn, for all of this. I shouldn't have abandoned you like that, I should've listened to you. And I wish I saw the signs, and-"

"Kara it's not only your fault." He says quietly.

"Winn, can we still be friends? I promise to never ever treat you like that ever again. I was foolish, and I can only hope you'll forgive me."

"Only if you're on Jiffy Pop detail for movie night." He smiles. I nod and pulled him back into a hug.

"So are you free tonight?" I ask. "Yeah, why?" He questions.

"Well, my date to the pep rally kind of blew.. me off? So I was hoping we could do it together, as friends?"

He smiles and nods, so I go behind him and started pushing his chair.

Everyone makes their way back inside and we all sat down as the fun festivities continue.

After a few minutes, Alex runs back to us, while holding Maggie's hand.

"Kara, Maggie wanted to ask me out! That's why she wanted to talk to me later, I just never gave her the chance to!" She smiles happily. They both kiss each other, and I smile.

"Maggie, can I talk to you?" I asked. She nods and I pulled her out into the halls.

"Maggie, if you ever hurt Alex like that again, you'll wish I was only Sam. She is my sister and.. Well, you get it." I smirk, while walking back to the gym. Leaving her there looking dumbfounded.

_And that is how you deal with a bully Lena.._

***********

_September 1st, 2004_

_Dear Diary,_

_I've learned something from that whole experience. Just be seventeen!_

_I know that may sound really weird but it's an important lesson. This whole thing could've been avoided if I followed that saying._

_After listening to my advice for the year it turned out pretty well. No one else even dared to attempt suicide, after Lena._

_I told people about what happened to her. She felt like nobody loved her, and that life was war. She had major depression, and one day got access to a bomb. At first she tried cutting and even used a gun, but failed because I found her in the boiler room. So she went outside and detonated the bomb. I tried to stop her and got to close to the explosion, and that's what knocked me out._

_That's the story I told people and I stuck with it. It's the half-truth, but still very close to the real story. But it also helped me realize my passion for storytelling._

_I wrote an article about Lena and all of the other people who committed suicide at Midvale High this year._

_That article got me a full ride to Duke for journalism, along with my good grades and background of course._

_Winn made a full recovery and got the help he needed. He got into MIT and graduated valedictorian!_

_I will forever hold Lena in my heart. She was my first girlfriend and she truly taught me the importance of a healthy relationship._

_Oh and the whole gang is back in Massachusetts, Alex and Maggie are getting married! They are the cutest couple ever! I was Alex's maid of honor, because we are like sisters._

_Massachusetts was the first state to legalize gay marriage, and I wish Lena could've been around to see it.._

"Kara? Are you still writing in that old journal?" Alex asks me, while looking over at it.

"Yeah, I found it locked away in my bag from high school. I left off on a really awkward place. I just wanted to update it." I smile.

"I still find it sad that you won't let any of us read it to this day." She chuckles. "Yeah well, let's just say, I was a pretty angst filled teen. I'm actually about to go burn this."

"Oh come on! Can you let me read one page?" She pleads. I roll my eyes while laughing.

"No way, I have a feeling you do not want to remember the days of Sam Arias and the Supergirls." I say while walking over to her fire place.

I pulled out the necklace and started fiddling with it, knowing this would be the only object I can remember her by.

"You're probably right, the Supergirls was such a weird name." She sighs.

_You have no idea.._

_~Kara Zorel_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is. Sorry about the ending lol, I was having a hard time with it because I didn't know if I should or shouldn't have killed Lena. My friends chose this ending so don't attack me, attack them. I loved making this story and if you have any writing prompts comment them down below! I'd love to see them. You deserve all of the potstickers in the world! See you guys next time!


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